Thursday, February 13, 2014
Accomplish blog and jokes for Thursday
My affirmation for the day:
1 - It is becoming easier for me to be in control of my body; both with my eating and exercising habits.
2 I am loved and supported by people who are important to me.
3 I am a loving and caring person.
4. Today I feel good
5 Today is the first day of rest of my life and I will take notice of the many positive things this day has to offer.
I am today grateful for
1 for my mom
2 ‘for my sister and her family
3 for having people who I work with me who care about me
4 for having a job
5 for Cleveland better weather
Positive events of today:
1 morning—nice breakfast at panera2 afternoon-nice free lunch
3, evening—a nice game of jeorpary the family
The Four Cats
T-Square, Spreadsheet, Measure and Coffee Break
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, the second an Accountant, the third a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff.'
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.'
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said
'Measure, do your stuff.' Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8oz. without spilling a drop into the glass.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?'
The Government Employee called his cat Coffee Break and said 'do your stuff.'
Coffee Break jumped to his feet...
He drank the milk ate the cookies, and then beat up the other three cats. Later he claimed he injured his back while doing so, so he filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. the two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'the other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'