Thursday, February 13, 2014
Unsurprisingly, I didn't have a loss this week. I'd even mentally prepared for a gain, but THANKFULLY that didn't happen! I was tracking, but not honestly. I was picking at food and overeating, not measuring what I was actually eating and that always means eating more food than I want to admit.
I'm feeling very emotionally weird today. My heart is beating fast, I've got some palpitations. I think it's anxiety but I can't pinpoint what I'd be anxious about! I cleaned up the house, did the budget and paid all the bills, made sure the kids were being somewhat productive on this snow day, and here I am, checking in on Spark. I don't know why I feel so awful! I even got to sleep in this morning! Part of it, I'm sure, is facing my weight and what I'm going to need to do to get to where I want to be.
I went into my goals and reset my goal date. I went from April 7 to April 22, with the plan to lose two pounds a week. I'm going to lower my daily calorie limit by 100 calories and I'm contemplating adding my Saturday workout back in. I don't want to do it, but if I'm going to be serious, I will.
I worry a lot about what it's going to take to maintain a good weight, which is funny because I maintained a good weight for four years! I have to trust that as I get my emotional/compulsive eating under control, meaning out of the habit of indulging it, I'll feel more powerful and also more calm.
I'm really feeling like a big ball of messy stress right now. I wish I knew what to do to feel better!