Thursday, February 13, 2014
If you follow Pixie-Licious's blog, you've seen she has been bravely sharing the struggles surrounding her recent regain. If you've been following my blog, you know I've been struggling with similar issues (nearly 15 pounds) and the fight to get back on track. In a recent blog, Pixie chronicles "the good, the bad and the ugly" of her regain and decision to get back on track. Here's mine!
It is HARD to find something GOOD about a regain! But I will say, I always weighed myself through out -- even if it prompted self-loathing and obsession -- and though the scale is an imperfect instrument (understatement) I believe it is why I did not gain more than I did. I've taken complete breaks from the scale before and I always gained like crazy. As much as I hate it sometimes, I've come to accept the scale as a daily part of my life -- forever.
After a year plus break from unhealthy eating, I dove back in with both feet! It's like my taste buds have become re-sensitized to hyperpalatable foods and sweets and they are even more alluring than ever before! The bad is definitely having to wrestle the nutrition demons back into submission all over again after having done successfully before.
Here's the ugly -- everything I hate about my regain!
Tight size 12's
The way my stomach sticks out when I'm seated
The way my stomach sticks out when I'm standing!
Getting out of breath on two flights of stairs
Less agile in my Zumba class
Starting to fish those 14's out of the back of the closet (hell no!)
Feeling out of control
Having people still compliment me on my weight loss because they can't really tell the difference and I'm still so much smaller than I used to be -- meanwhile, I know I've regained some and feel guilty accepting the compliment.
Being scared other people are noticing the difference, too.
I just feel less healthy, less vibrant, less energetic, less confident. I hate to put TOO much emphasis on the numbers but even though there's MORE of me, I feel LESS of everything (breakthrough on why I struggle with my weight, right there, in some ways fat is like an emotional anesthetic).
So, there you go, the good, the bad and ugly of my regain. Thanks for the inspiration, Pixie!