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    SHRINKING_SARA   29,333
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Stress!

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

So today was a whirlwind. I don't want to get into specifics but my family has mental problems… that are being exacerbated by the fact that we are selling my parents house (or trying to).

Trying to keep my father from driving my mother to kill herself is what is mentally and physically dragging me down. Sorry its heavy but sometimes you realize why the f**k you're messed up and have turned to food in the past.

I made smart choices today to start. I got up early. Ate a good breakfast (I'm saradrenk on myfitnesspal if anyone wants to stalk me). Worked out. Got ready. Cleaned up my room and some other rooms for the realtor. Started making a healthy lunch and then all hell broke loose.

Nuclear f***king meltdown time. I'm still shaken over all of the crap that went down today. My family is stressing me out so badly. Its no wonder I've always gravitated towards food for comfort. I did again. I was running late. All of the stuff i had to do today took away from all of the things I NEEDED to get done. So dinner for me was Chai and a Cinnamon roll from Panera. I bought my mom some bagels and cookies from the bakery. She needed it. She's overweight and she was overmedicated and couldn't take any more drugs so I gave her the only thing I could to make her feel better.

I can't stand living with my parents, but sometimes I wonder what would have happen in certain situations if I wasn't here…

A lot to think about. I only ate around 2000 calories, and with my workout today was kept in check. I have enough will power to stand through this and not go to a drive through. My ultimate goal isn't going to be derailed by all of this chaos.

In good news the scale moved down. I was at 202/203 before super bowl sunday, I just hadn't reweighed myself since then. So today started off good. 200.2. 0.2# of pesky weight keeping me from Onederland. I thought about removing some more clothes, but said -- "eh, its a 3# loss." I'll take it now and feel amazing about it. SO the next time I step on the scale (hopefully) it will drop me back into Onederland and I can enjoy my weight again. 200 for me is the barrier I don't want to go over. 200 to me is the sign that I am backsliding and I need to get my butt back in gear.

So that I am. I will make more time for me. I will help out my parents, but I won't let them drag me down with them.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHODGES83 2/13/2014 1:25PM

    Good for you staying in check amidst the chaos. You're a strong lady. Hang in there and try to stay positive.

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AHTRAP 2/13/2014 10:35AM

    Tough to keep track of yourself amidst chaos. Here's to finding that balance between giving the support your family needs, and taking care of yourself at the same time.

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ARUNNINGKAT 2/12/2014 11:57AM

    Sending lots of hugs your way. What a tough situation! It sounds like you are a fabulous daughter and have definitely made the best that you can out of a horrible situation. And bravo for not losing control of your eating. Under those circumstances I am sure that it took a lot of willpower to not just give up completely.

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TALVARADO6 2/12/2014 11:35AM

    That is a lot to deal with. I know it's hard not to turn to food when things get stressful, but I'm glad you recognize that you struggle with this and can work on it.

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STRONG_SARAH 2/12/2014 5:29AM

    I'm so sorry Sara, try not to involve yourself too much. They have problems which are THEIRS, not YOURS. I know, easier said than done right? Stay strong, you are on the right track. emoticon

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DUMBBELLE84 2/11/2014 9:15PM

  Yikes, sorry about the rough going. I admire that you're not going to allow yourself to use this as an excuse to backslide. You're doing great, hang in there!

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SUSIEGKORN 2/11/2014 8:48PM

    So glad you're going to be married and out of that craziness. So sorry you have to deal with it while trying to build your career, and take care of your needs too. You're a good daughter. Best to you and your parents, too.

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STEVEN_D 2/11/2014 8:05PM

    Don't you just want to jump off the merry go round? It's like, did I really grow up in this enviornment and live to tell about it? My best wishes for you and your parents


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KENDRACARROLL 2/11/2014 7:48PM

    Wise choice. I know it's hard, but you're really not responsible for your parents.
I have huge drama with a son (20) who still lives at home. I swear he has mental problems. It's a roller coaster around here most of the time. Of course he won't accept help and refuses medication. He's constantly in trouble with the law, and sometimes I just want to run away! I'm just learning to detach and let go and to not let him walk all over me.
A great boyfriend, exercise, and eating clean are my saving grace :)
Hang in there!
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