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    PIXIE-LICIOUS   128,474
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The Scale, The Steering Wheel & Elastic Waistbands

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Tuesday, February 11, 2014



Today is day 3 of my current streak!

After coming clean in yesterdays blog about my 30 pound weight gain, I made a promise that I would be completely honest about how I am doing on my journey....good, bad or ugly. I'm not going to hide the truth from my Spark friends, or from myself. Being honest and open about everything helps me to stay accountable, and thats something I obviously need.

So here are the good, the bad and the ugly of the past three days.

The Good;
I weighed myself three days ago, and found that I had gained 30 lbs. Well, 31 to be exact. So why am I calling this "The Good"? Well, the weight gain was certainly not good, but the fact that I weighed myself was VERY good, because it was the slap in the face that I needed. I am not a fan of the scale. I hardly ever weigh myself. I prefer to judge how I'm doing based on how I feel in my clothes, and how I feel during my workouts. And trust me, as I was gaining those 31 lbs back, I KNEW I was gaining, because I was having to dig into the back of my closet for some bigger clothes...and then even THOSE clothes started to get tight. I could also tell that I was gaining weight because my workouts were getting harder for me to get through without feeling total exhaustion. And of course, I knew I was gaining weight because I was eating unhealthy food, and lots of it.

But I was lying to myself. I was telling myself "Oh, its probably no more than a 10 or 12 lbs gain." As if that wouldn't have been bad enough! But then I decided it was time to weigh myself and admit the truth. Deep down, I knew it was more than 10 or 12 pounds gained. So I got on the scale...and faced the truth. Dirty 30. Ouch. I've gained 30 lbs! (Okay, 31, because I'm being completely honest.)

That was my wakeup call. Time to start working HARD again, and stop making excuses. Time to accept where I had really gotten. And thats why getting on the scale is "The Good.

Now for The Bad.
The steering wheel.

I was once so proud of the fact that I could sit in the car without having to tip the steering wheel up first, and by the fact that the steering wheel didn't touch my belly anymore while I was driving. That was one of my favorite non scale victories!

This morning I had to go to the grocery store to get a few things. And although I didn't have to tip the steering wheel up, I had to honestly admit that my stomach ALMOST touches it when I am driving! Not only is that uncomfortable, its dangerous! So....I had to move the seat back. I have resisted doing this for a long time. Its embarrassing, because when I got home, hubby had to go to work...and when he got in the car, he had to move the seat back up. I felt so ashamed as I stood there on the porch and watched him do that. But he knew how I was feeling....he rolled down the car window and said "Its okay!" And he gave me a big smile. So that made it better. But I'm not happy with that situation, and I WILL work hard to lose this weight again so that the seat won't have to be adjusted back and forth for much longer!

And on to The Ugly.
Elastic waistbands.

Once I started my weight loss journey, I made a rule; I would never wear elastic waist paints except for workouts. And I stuck with that rule, so proud to be out in public wearing regular jeans instead of elastic waist ones. But then I started gaining weight. And I was literally STUFFING myself into my jeans. Then hubby was in the hospital. I was SO uncomfortable sitting in that hospital room for hours in those too tight jeans. Plus, I felt like I looked like a lumpy sack of potatoes. I wore a jacket to try to hide the fact that my belly was rolling over the top of my jeans. (Muffin top? More like a Bundt Cake top.) After that first day visiting hubby, I headed to Walmart on my way home. And I bought a pair of elastic waist jeans.

Let me just say (and please, excuse my language) that it totally sucks to be back in elastic waist jeans! I've avoided looking at myself in the mirror while wearing them, but this morning before I left for the grocery store, I went and stood in front of my full length mirror and took a look from all angles. I feel so ugly and frumpy in these elastic waisted pants...and I am going to change it. I am on track and everytime I even THINK of going off track, I'm going to remind myself of how I feel in those elastic waist jeans, and I know that will help me to stay strong. I can't wait until I am able to report that I have thrown those pants into the donation bin outside of the grocery store!

But before I close, let me be sure to say that I love myself. I have taken some steps backwards, I have gained 30 pounds (yeah, 31, right) and I am not perfect. I am not happy with how my body feels or looks right now. But no matter what, I am still me, and I will always be me, no matter what size I am wearing or what the scale says. And because I love myself, I am not going to ever give up. I will lose this weight and I will reach my goals. I am still my own hero.





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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRAMPIAN 5/6/2014 6:25AM

  Great attitude! emoticon

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NASFKAB 3/30/2014 4:25AM

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EFFRAYECHILDE 2/23/2014 3:48PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PURPLEPEONY 2/20/2014 6:32PM

    emoticon

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BEATLETOT 2/18/2014 8:59PM

    Your husband totally rocks my face off! What a guy!!

My mom started wearing elastic jeans after she lost a bunch of weight...ain't that something?

I know the feeling with the clothes...the "just to tide me over" clothes I bought recently are starting to wear out and some feel tight. Yikes! We can do this together!

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SUPERDAD55 2/14/2014 11:54PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAROL_31649731 2/14/2014 11:17PM

    Powerful blog! Right where you are . . . in my elastic pants and all! But we can do this, I know we can--cause we never give up! emoticon

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IMEMINE1 2/14/2014 7:14PM

    From this emoticon to this emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CORNERKICK 2/14/2014 2:05PM

  emoticon emoticon

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JRRING 2/14/2014 12:55PM

  emoticon

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BRENDA_G50 2/14/2014 12:47PM

    emoticon and I KNOW you WILL do this!!! emoticon

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ADAPTINGANNIE 2/14/2014 9:04AM

    Very honest. Very rateable. Thank you for sharing and good luck as you move back on track.

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ROXYCARIN 2/14/2014 12:40AM

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MARYHENNIG 2/13/2014 10:12PM

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WALLPER26 2/13/2014 9:43PM

    You are going in the right direction. emoticon emoticon

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JUSTJANE40 2/13/2014 7:54PM

    emoticon

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AJB121299 2/13/2014 7:07PM

    nice job

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SALAM4545 2/13/2014 6:41PM

    I love that you are so honest. emoticon

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MARGLYNE14 2/13/2014 6:39PM

    Amen sister! I know this feeling well. 2 weeks ago I was looking at our Vacation pictures (Hawaii) and was wondering who that heavy set lady was standing next to my brother-in-law.. emoticon it was me! Honestly until that moment I had not realized how much weight I had gained. I am on a 4 day streak now and will continue..got to go for now..the treadmill is calling me. Great Blog! I am glad I took the time to read it. emoticon

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SHIRE33 2/13/2014 6:08PM

    You're walking a wide path -- so many of us share it! Thanks for being so honest. I know it about killed me to have to change my weight ticker back up, but by golly it's going down again, so at least we're on the RIGHT path. :)

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LIFEINTHEZONE 2/13/2014 6:00PM

  Girl, I love you!

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NEWFIEGIRLINTO 2/13/2014 5:15PM

    I just want to let you know that you are not alone in your struggle. I had lost 25lbs and gained back almost 20 of it. I was too ashamed to put my real weight in my weight tracker for a long time but when I finally did it felt liberating. I felt guilty and ashamed for letting MYSELF down. Now I realize that I have to keep looking forward and forget about the mistakes of the past. The last few weeks my hubby and I have adopted a healthier lifestyle again. The weight is coming off again and we are feeling a lot better. Just keep at it and you'll be fine!!
PS: I love elastic waistbands!! emoticon

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SAMMI-SAM 2/13/2014 3:47PM

    Get control of that steering wheel girl! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CANDLES-73 2/13/2014 3:47PM

    This was a great blog - emoticon emoticon

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GEMINICHIK 2/13/2014 1:42PM

    "If at 1st you don't succeed.....try again."

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RENATA144 2/13/2014 11:58AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon
I believe in you !!! emoticon emoticon

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SASSYCO60 2/13/2014 11:37AM

    Thank you for sharing your good, bad and ugly. Although, humorous at times, it shows exactly where you are at and your determination to continue on your path to health. We are here to support you on your journey.

Sharon emoticon

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MOMMY445 2/13/2014 11:18AM

    You are so inspiring,Pixie! keep it up! you can do this! have an awesome day!

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RILEYBOT 2/13/2014 10:50AM

    Great Blog! feels like you are talking about me. I can so relate. You will get back on track I have no doubt. Stay positive. We will get this done! emoticon emoticon
deb

Comment edited on: 2/13/2014 10:50:32 AM

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VELVETB1 2/13/2014 10:27AM

    emoticon
I've had the whole idea of self love on my mind a lot lately. I really enjoyed that you ended your blog stating that you do love yourself! My gosh I can so relate to the steering wheel thing! I celebrated that non scale victory too! Good for you for putting it all out there, there's no stopping you now!
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DISNEY4537 2/13/2014 10:16AM

    Thank you for sharing! Great blog! emoticon emoticon

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ANNROW0354 2/13/2014 10:11AM

    As Dr. Phil says "You can't change what you don't acknowledge" and it was really brave of you to share this with us. We have all been through this "yo-yo" syndrome or we wouldn't be here on SP. You are obviously a strong woman and this is just a bump in the road.
PS: scales terrify me but you have motivated me to choose a weigh in date and stick to it.
emoticon

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BLITZAJ7 2/13/2014 9:47AM

    Thank you for sharing this. You have inspired me on the being totally honest part. I've always tried to trick myself into believing that if no one else knew..."whatever" then it didn't matter.
Thanks for opening my eyes!! NO MORE SNEAKING AROUND!

You can do this!! I look forward to your future blogs about your progress!! emoticon emoticon

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LORIVIOLA 2/13/2014 9:16AM

    thank you for sharing. YOu can and WILL do this!!!

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PATTIMET 2/13/2014 9:16AM

    Good luck on your journey - don't get discouraged and just keep moving in the positive and remember all the things you liked about the weight loss. I've gained back a lot of weight as well and can relate. So let's get busy and moving in the right direction.

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KEELIE21 2/13/2014 9:08AM

    I gained back the 20 I lost before my wedding and It does feel awful, but getting back into healthy habit has me feeling fabulous I'm sure you will too!
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WANT2BFIT43 2/13/2014 8:28AM

    Very honest blog, I love it and your ability to be honest with yourself emoticon

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JSMIMI8 2/13/2014 8:22AM

    I am at the 23 over my original loss, 6 pounds down from my last regain. I know how it feels. But we can be better. emoticon

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BRASKIN 2/13/2014 8:18AM

  in the same boat.... down and up...... and down and up... call me yo-yo. emoticon

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JOYMEDSALE 2/13/2014 7:34AM

    Well, we are in the same boat. I gained 34 to be exact. Had lost 50, and through the power of denial, "oh, its only" 10 or 12 lbs" I made it up to 34 lbs. so boy do I know how you feel. But --- my BP was up a bit, so I cut a deal with my doc to lower the weight to lower the BP as to stay off BP meds. I really do have some "skin in the game" now. Hopefully it will help me stay on course! Hang in there and holler out if you need help!! emoticon


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DIVARAYNE123 2/13/2014 7:26AM

    emoticon emoticon WTG!!!! you can get back on track emoticon

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MOIRA2 2/13/2014 6:00AM

    This is truly an inspirational blog! You have given me hope and inspiration today. emoticon
I am in much the same place that you are and I feel lousy on many different levels. After having let myself down again you've given me a push today. emoticon

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JAVSMOM88 2/13/2014 5:26AM

    Honesty is the best gift we can give we can give ourselves. See you along the journey, you can do this! emoticon

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BLUEJEAN99 2/13/2014 1:59AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JSEATTLE 2/13/2014 12:15AM

  I love how you always manage to keep things real. Believe me, we have all been there in one way or another. Congratulations on your 3-Day and here we go for 4!!

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GARDENCHRIS 2/12/2014 11:13PM

    Remember this is a journey... we have all been where you are at... then we move forward again.

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LUVTOBOWL 2/12/2014 11:05PM

    I'm so proud of you Pixie. You will lose the weight and reach your goals.

Hugs and kisses

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CLAYARTIST 2/12/2014 9:51PM

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IDICEM 2/12/2014 8:46PM

  Honest analysis will lead you to success. emoticon emoticon

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MIMIDOT 2/12/2014 8:22PM

    You can do it! One day at a time. Keep the faith.

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