Tuesday, February 11, 2014
I have been in survival mode most of the past 6 months. I'm just able to do what I need to do each day to get through the day. I'm not happy, I'm not finding as much joy in things that usually bring me joy. I'm tired sluggish, snappy, sad, and find comfort only in fattening, sugar loaded food. And lots of it.
I hate feeling like this. I hate to publicly bring this to my blog.
This is no way to live. I know that I can feel better than this. I just can't seem to get out of this funk. I've even set the tiniest baby steps for myself (1. go to the gym once a week, 2. Take my vitamins)...I haven't even made any effort at hitting those two goals in nearly a month. I don't know what it is.
Usually if I get into a little funk, I can pull myself my by the bootstraps and make myself get back into a healthier routine, and then I will start to feel better, usually after only a few days of effort. But at the moment I can't muster the effort.
It is taking all my energy just to do what I have to do to get everyone to school, make it through a workday and get ready to do it all over again tomorrow.
I almost feel bad to post this, because I know how very blessed I am. I know many, many people with problems MUCH worse than mine. But I'm feeling so desperate, and depressed I'm just going to put it out there into cyber space.
I've lost all motivation, but at least I'm still looking for it. I'm so ready to be happy again and just feel like myself.