Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Okay, so I have been trying to ease off the running to save myself for Saturday. Some of that is on purpose and some of that is our ridiculous weather. I mean Tulsa's average high for February is about 50. I am grateful that starting Thursday it will be back in the 60s again....finally.
But a friend asked me yesterday about the run and when it was and how I felt about it. I told her that I am wondering now what I was thinking signing up for it. I mean I did this for my son. I signed up to run in his honor so why in the world am I obsession about MY endurance and MY performance and MY insecurities. I see so many blogs here about successes and encouragement and am I really going to post that I am obsessing?
I wish I could just be one of those bouncy, upbeat people and I have often been called a pessimist. I wish I could have answered her and said that I felt great about Saturday and I was going to do great and set a PR but that is just not me. I prefer realist but that is a different blog.....until I heard something that really helped. It wasn't one of those vapid, insipid, platitudes so many of us see on social media and often hanging in our work offices....it was a redefinition of optimist.
Optimist isn't seeing the glass half full or always looking for the silver lining or facing the world with a smile, Being an optimist is when I know the glass IS half empty and it IS raining and I am so discouraged that a smile might crack my face that I get up and try again. Being an optimist for me is not viewing the current world or situation with bounce it is looking off in the distance and hoping for the future in spite of what I have currently.
I haven't totally viewed the Sweetheart Run like this yet but I am trying to view this as opportunity despite the disappointing runs I have had currently. I am going to acknowledge what is currently not the way I want it and that I am apprehensive and disappointed and push forward to this weekend. It wasn't so long ago that the same disappointment would have made me not show up and push forward.
So I will show up Saturday at 7:45 am ready to run 'cause I am an optimist. Sort of. (grin)