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Some Late Nite


Monday, February 10, 2014

The Olympics have begun in Sochi. A lot of people over there say the hotels stink. The problem is there are only three hotels in Sochi. Of course, you have the Ritz Chernobyl. You have the Sheraton Gulag. And really the best one over there, The Two Seasons. -Dave Letterman

Hillary Clinton is encouraging Hispanic families to read to their kids. She's also telling Asian families to ease up on the math so the rest of us can catch up." -Conan O'Brien

A new LEGO movie is coming out. I've heard some people say, 'This LEGO movie is basically just a two-hour commercial.' These people are completely wrong. It's only 90 minutes." -Craig Ferguson

It was revealed this week that in the past couple years Hugh Grant has fathered three children with two different women. How ironic is that? I end my run the same way it began asking Hugh Grant, "What the hell were you thinking?" Twenty-two years later, I ask him the same question. -Jay Leno

There are 12 new events in this year's Winter Olympics, 12. The new events include women's ski jumping, luge-team relay, and finding a working toilet. -Conan O'Brien

Tomorrow night the Olympics begin from Sochi. A lot of people over there say the hotels stink. The problem is there are only three hotels in Sochi. Of course, you have the Ritz Chernobyl. You have the Sheraton Gulag. And really the best one over there, The Two Seasons. -David Letterman

This is the last night Jay Leno is hosting "The Tonight Show." Good luck, Jay. The lesson here is if you work hard and succeed, someday you will be fired. That's why I'm happy right here. They can't fire you if they don't know you're on the air. -Craig Ferguson
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYAKAYAH 2/10/2014 11:58PM

    You are so right Craig Ferguson~ great funnies!

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IGNITEME101 2/10/2014 11:48PM

    lol

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