Monday, February 10, 2014
Today I woke up I just did not want to go to the gym and seeing that this is my last week to go to the gym in the morning time because next week I start my 9-5 I knew I had to go.. I thought why not I am sure you will feel much better after seeing that usually happens.. So I did my usual walk on treadmill, weights and rowing and bike, so after my work out I decided it was time to face the music.. get on the scale other then my broken one.. which I have been doing and knowing that the weight is not true.. with in 5 or 6 lbs .. so I stepped on the scale.. OMG.. I was so shocked and mortified that I could not move.. the truth was starring at me.. and I need to face it.. how? was I going to face it.. how was I going to deal with it yes I know it is a number but this number reflects the true damage I have done and did to my self.. so I need to come clean and first of all admit to you all the damage the number which is 255 and change it on my diet tickler.. and I also need to get this down and I know sitting here being mad at my self and beating my self up is not going to get it down.
but what is going to get it down is hard work.. and I am not sure if I can do it.?? not sure if I have it in me.. where do I start.. how do I do this? and I am so embarrassed that you all know and this is killing me.. truly killing me.. You know I over did it.. I stayed to long in this compliancy or rut or what ever it is I am in.. and I need to dig out..
Thank you for listening.. I need to start listening to my self..