Monday, February 10, 2014
Last time I came here was in July. How did I fall so hard this time?
But of course, I'm getting back up and starting over. And of course I'm heavier than I was the last time I had to start over again, by 2.2 lbs. Well the truth is, it could be a lot worse and my motivation is coming around finally.
Looking back, I was doing so good when I was able to get to the pool regularly. I stopped doing well when I injured my shoulder and had to take some time off from that. I didn't replace the pool workouts with anything at all. BIG mistake! Will try to learn from that one, for sure. I've been trying to get back into the pool but it seems I never time it right. Then I put it off for so long and ended up getting very ill in the fall with a serious blood infection and I found out there is a problem with my heart. I was told to avoid a lot of activity and really the only exercise I should be doing is brisk walking which I don't enjoy doing in my crime ridden neighbourhood. My heart problem has not been figured out yet and I have to be careful to avoid fainting. I'm going to return to swimming this week though and just make sure I don't overdo it.
My life is very different even from just 6 months ago when I was last coming around. I decided to leave my job and fulfill my passions of making and decorating elaborate cakes. I just left my job a week ago so it's still very new. We are just months away from potentially buying and moving in to our dream home - a log cabin, off the grid and on a small farm. If all goes as planned this will happen in May/June of this year. Life will be so different and it will require a lot of physical energy from me. I have a new motivation and that's it. I need to get into some seriously better shape to make farm living work. I can't wait, it gets me so excited and I'm going to try to use that to my advantage.
A good thing about leaving my job is that I can finally start taking the medication I've neglected to take for the last 2 years. I am supposed to be on Metformin for my insulin resistance (due to PCOS but, let's face it, I'm obese and I can't blame it all on PCOS) but it makes me so incredibly ill. I wasn't able to take it because the illness isn't conducive to working in an office, but now I can finally take a couple weeks to feel like crap and get used to the pills. I took my first dose last night and today I am feeling absolutely terrible. Running to the bathroom every few minutes, so nauseated I can barely even sip water. It's brutal, I don't know why it hits me so hard. Well it's hard to swallow when you feel like your poisoning yourself but I know if I can just get through the first few weeks, I will be thankful I did. Last time I was on Metformin it really helped me with my sweet cravings (I'm an addict) and I was feeling like my body was working right for the first time. I will keep taking it, no matter how ill I get. It's temporary.
This is a novel. Just trying to get back into the routine of being a member of this community. I feel like I'm at the right time and place to make these changes. I'm sorry I've missed all my friends here, hope you've been doing great and I'll spend the next week catching up on where your at. Hoping to connect and reconnect with you all.
I just can't do it alone, but I can do it with you all beside me. Hope you all have been doing your best!