Today is day 37, Mentally tough in all aspects of life. Got PO'd at a lot of people last night.
Sunday, February 09, 2014
I was looking forward to this dinner/party thing. Music, comedy, food. I stuck to my guns and had 1 glass of wine, about 6 potato chips...because they were there and ate meat, scraped off any sauces, salad and skipped the pasta. I won't even bother with the food tracker but I did well, I probably had too much protein and this morning tells me everything was sauced with a lot of salt.
The band was good.
Then came the so-called comedy.
The first guy was vulgar. I'm no prude. But the stuff that came from his mouth was crude. I was off kilter and stunned that the table of 14 that included all family members was laughing. All except me and DH. 10 minutes of torture.
Then came guy #2.
He was fast, furious and racist. It appeared he tallied the audience and ensured it was all one color before he sped off. He joked about rape, life-changing illnesses. Now DH and I are sharing glances, disgust and stuck against a wall in a packed room farthest from the exits. I started to cry. This is not me; I'm tough. Now I'm feeling sick.
I still can't find an opening to get out. I thought we were done.
Enter final furry #3.
A ventriloquist with a dummy.
I estimate in the first 2 minutes I hear F&^% 27 times and every other word was racist or sexist.
People are STILL laughing, including my nieces, nephews and our siblings.
I got up and pushed my way through the entire room. There had to be well over 100 people there; all moms and dads of various ages, politicians, cops, firemen and business people. Teachers and truckers.
I'm disgusted. I waited in vestibule, reading my Kindle, walked outside without a coat for 5 minute- 18 degrees. Talked to equally disgusted band members. We were driven there and now I'm checking out cabs to get to our car. There are none in these towns.
It went on and on.
Once the band went in I got DH, asked some in-laws who looked fairly disgusted to take us back to our car and the 4 of us made a quick exit.
DH said he wished he walked out like I did. He was stunned watching his siblings and their families laughing.
I was mad at myself for not taking the microphone from guy #2 and screaming at these folks.
I cried on the way home, felt physically ill. I don't get it and it's still making me cry.
These are the same people who teach kids respect for everyone no matter gender, race or background. Are paid to make sure you, me and anyone else are safe and secure knowing we will be treated equally.
I am simply stunned.