Friday, February 07, 2014
Today is an odd day. I am crying at happy, sad, laughing at happy. I feel off somehow. Emotions are up front and speaking out. I probably need to burn some energy. Some people I know are going through rough times, like we all do but they are finding it hard to see the light, the positive, that changes us and makes us who we are. I wish I could help more but I can not. They need to see it and embrace it and learn from it and all I can do is pray they do. Facebook is wonderful and horrible all in one. It is hard to not get caught up in the drama that is always being expressed. This day is testing my "tolerance goal". I am not in their shoes, I do not see their story, I can not judge.
I know part of my emotions are because I am doing everything right but the scale goes up, then down, same 4 pounds past 3 weeks. The number does not define me. It does not rule my day. It does sit on the back porch of my mind and occasionally the swing there moves and catches my attention and I have to turn back towards the future and my dreams & goals. It is distracting and I need to stay focused.
I will remind myself change takes time and I have time. I am in process like a file on the computer. I am growing and getting healthy one day at a time. I know moving will better my mood so I will go and exercise now and get some emotions out the healthy way and who knows, maybe that scale will be lower tomorrow.