This is NOT my blog entry.
I have copied this from Whoviangirl 23, but it was such a powerful message I felt the need to share!
IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE BL WINNER, SKIP THIS SECTION!!
I'm not going to say much about this, only that I DID watch the finale, and I am EXTREMELY disappointed with the outcome. Rachael is definitely underweight and unhealthy, and I really hope that she can get help for what I can only guess is an eating disorder. I also hope that the show/trainers will acknowledge this.
But that aside, that really got me thinking. I saw a quote last night that said "Don't exercise and eat healthy because you hate your body, do it because you LOVE your body". That really got me thinking. I am notorious for being abusive to myself. I always talk about how much I hate myself, and how much I hate my body. I self deprecate like no ones business. If I miss a workout, it's "You stupid lazy b*tch, how do you ever expect to lose weight". If I slip up and binge, it's "Well you're pathetic and you screwed up, you're never going to succeed, better eat some more". It's awful, and it's something that I'm really trying to work on. For years I've said "I'm fat, I'm disgusting, I hate myself". But the truth is, I'm NOT fat. I HAVE fat. There is a big difference. I'm Amy, my name is not Fat. Whether I weigh 237 pounds or 137 pounds, the person that is inside will remain the same, only the exterior will show a change.
I, like a lot of people on this journey, am extremely guilty of turning this into a numbers game. I obsess over the scale. I obsess over every weigh in. I obsess over the numbers. I obsess over it all! If I step on the scale and don't see a loss after a week of being perfect, the first thing on my mind is "Great, you screwed up, you fat ass. Why are you even still trying?" emoticon NO! That is NOT okay anymore. I need to think more about the HEALTH aspect of this all. Okay, so maybe I weighed in and didn't lose! But how do I feel (hello inner Dr. Phil)? Do I feel stronger? Do I feel more in control? Does my skin look brighter? SCREW that scale. SCREW the obsession. SCREW the self hatred. It has to end! I have put my body through hell and back, and yet it still carries on! It still stays strong through my repeated weight loss attempts. It stands by while I take off weight (and unfortunately sometimes put it back on, very quickly). It carries me through my workouts. It allows me to continue trying. How can I hate it for that? In reality, I guess I DON'T hate my body. I simply HATE what I've done TO it. My body was just the innocent bystander, I am the one who "destroyed" it. And in the same sense, I am the ONLY one who can fix it again.
TAKE BACK YOUR POWER sparkles. YOU are the one in control of your food. YOU are the one who chooses whether or not you are going to work out each day. YOU are the one who has to choose between eating that bag of chips or saying NO. YOU have the power inside you, but you have to reclaim it!! And THAT is what I am determined to do!! TAKE BACK MY POWER