Wednesday, February 05, 2014
Everything hurts! Yes it is true. Everything hurts. I found myself thinking about where I am and where I was when things were going well.
I realized that I traded in the good things that I was enjoying for food that took me back to all this pain! Let me explain a bit.
I am having so much trouble moving around. It is difficult to get out of bed in the morning. It is difficult to get dressed and I am once again limited to a few items of clothing because of my weight and I am NOT going to go out and buy a bunch of clothes for this size!
It hurts to sit and it hurts to stand. I can't seem to stand very long so when washing dishes, I have to lean on the counter. My arms feel so heavy and I know that the globulous is causing my back to hurt.
Looking back, I remember that it didn't take too many pounds off before I was feeling a difference in my energy and the way I felt. I can remember the day I realized that I wasn't having to lean on the counter to wash dishes. I also remember looking forward to finding little ways to get more movement in. I would find myself dancing around the house with my granddaughter. I also remember being able to fit into clothes that I hadn't worn in a long time.
What happened to those days? I traded them for some momentary delights of food that really only made me happy for a moment and then they caused me so much grief.
I need to find the desire within me to make my health important again. I worked hard to get off my meds and now I am back on them and miserable.
I can do this. It is just going to take time. One day at a time. I am ready to do this. I am going to take my life back!
One big thing is that I have got to shut off the negative thinking that is skinkin' up my mind and I need to get to the store and get some good food in this house.
Tomorrow I take my hubster to get his cast removed (hopefully). He was in a car accident a couple days before Christmas. Him being here all day everyday has really caused me to overeat. I can't wait for him to go back to work. LOL When we get back, I will be stopping at the store for food so I have some good things to eat so I am looking forward to that!
This year is NOT going to be like last year! This is the year that I get closer to my goal!