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Cops Say The Darndest Things

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Cops Say the Darndest Things!

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supe! rvisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here!
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    These were funny! Thanks!

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1CRAZYDOG 2/5/2014 2:46PM


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MILPAM3 2/5/2014 12:16PM

  Such arrogance. Tsk tsk!

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PDSLIM 2/5/2014 10:48AM


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SHOAPIE 2/5/2014 10:12AM


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BECKYSFRIEND 2/5/2014 9:25AM


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NEWROSE27 2/5/2014 7:43AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MOTLEM 2/5/2014 3:10AM

    I'm SURE Mickey Mouse was a cat! emoticon
Oops, busted!! emoticon

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