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Tuesday, February 04, 2014

THe past week I have really struggled with the serenity prayer, maybe the last part "understand the difference "(Between what I can change and what I can´t)

I do believe in helping myself by finding tools that leads to where I want. I found AA that has kept me sober for eight years. When I steopd smoking...23 years ago, I isolated myself for the first two weeks, staying away fromthings that was to associated with cigarettes (alcohol, coffe, social gatherings)

But as my other flaws are things thaat I can´t completely stop it does not seem as I can find that "final solution". The defects I suffer most from are clutter, postponing and overeating.... and I find strategies that helps me for a while... and then it seems as they sort of "wear out" or maybe is it that i get boered?

OR - speaking to twelvestpppers - it might be that I have not really accepted that I am powerless in front of these defects.

Anyway, the weight loss strategy that gave me 16 kilos down, does not seem to work anymore. I am having a bad streak of eating chaotically again and although I embarked the "Happiness project" I can´t keep the resolution to devlutter ten minutes every day, I jaut can´t...

February is the month that I start my four month leave from work - that is leave on 40 procent. I still have 60 procent to do. The idea is that I am to find outher sources to an invome to copmpensate with... I am trying hard not to panic, I will survive even if I don´t land a single assignment!.

The fear is that I will give in to my dark side and do nothing...postpone and hide my head in the sand and let the time pass.

The nice thing is that I feel rather good in spite of all these dears passing thorugh my mind. Daughter was here with friend last weekend, they did fourhand on the piano:

and I feel blessed to have them around!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Love conquers all
    1500 days ago
    Clutter, procrastination, overeating - why, that sounds like ME! emoticon I ended up staying home from work last Thursday due to weather, and all I did was watch TV - no guitar practice, no exercise, didn't even cook dinner (we ordered take-out)! And then I lamented how I wasted the day. But you know what? Nobody died, nothing was ruined over it, it was just one day. I have to say don't beat yourself up too bad over these "defects." Part of acceptance may be to accept that no, you aren't "perfect" and yes, you have some "defects." Don't we all?

    My friendly advice is to put first things first. First is finding an income stream of some sort. I don't know what you do for a living, or what you mean by an assignment, but whatever it is you need to focus on that. Your diet will come next. Yes, it's important and will help preserve your health, but the stress and worry over income will shoot that all to heck, so it does come in second. It can move up to first once you get the income straightened out.

    As for clutter, well, my family and I have just had to deal with it. Right now my older daughter, her hubby & three kids are staying with us until THEY get on their feet - and they've made progress, but it means 8 people in my house, so it's never clean. We try to keep up with dishes, laundry and garbage, but that's about it. Don't remember the last time anyone dusted! And yes there's stuff everywhere. So again, the important stuff right now is cooking, dishes & laundry. If the clutter is just TOO MUCH to handle, then schedule like 5 - 10 minutes a day, pick an area, and clear it. The clutter will either be put away somewhere or thown out, unless you use the item every day. Good luck!
    1502 days ago
    You have received a lot of great advice. I too have my January clutter/tasks I need to tackle - that are still sitting there untouched. I decided it was because I did not write down "what" it was that I wanted to de-clutter. Today I will spend ten minutes on _______. I never wrote this simple statement down - so I never began work on that de-clutter project - even 10 minutes worth. Perhaps if you sit down and write each "project" down and then the steps you can take for each one. Perhaps this will keep you from procrastinating. Sending you HUGS!!
    1507 days ago
    How is your exercising routine? I find if I skip walking, I skip a lot of other things that are on my "To Do List". Stepping up this part of your life may well impact on other areas. At the very least, it may improve your mood! emoticon
    1507 days ago
    I had to chuckle when you spoke about having a bad streak of over-eating again, right after you said the diet isn't working any more. It's amazing how us humans blame the diet, when it's our not working the diet that's the problem.
    1507 days ago
    Reading some of the comments, I noticed we all have our "defects"
    I really do not look at them as such, maybe just a flaw, I do procrastinate also
    and get nothing done, and that will snowball into worse things.
    It helps me to stay busy, plan and get busy on projects or whatever needs to be done.
    I also eat less when I am busy ant that is a plus.
    Maybe if you concentrate on one thing or issue at a time it will go easier?
    1508 days ago
    Accepting is really only a beginning - the discernment is much more difficult for me also.
    1508 days ago
    I feel like you are trying to enforce rigid rules on a free spirit!

    RE:"final solution". The defects I suffer most from are clutter, postponing and overeating

    I don't consider these defects; lifestyle issues at worst. In alanon I would say you are "shoulding" all over yourself. I don't think there is a "final solution", I think I'm still evolving and it's a slow process. When the clutter bothers you; you'll do something about it. If you can postpone it, how important is it? For me, the overeating is more related to what's going on in my life than hunger or even appetite. When I'm involved in something I really enjoy, or at least am getting the satisfaction of a job well done, food is less of an issue.
    I tend to want a break from "have tos" by eating. Seize the day and build things in to it that you really enjoy! Time with DD is certainly on that list. Hugs.
    1508 days ago
    My sponsor reminds me a lot that we are responsible for the footwork, but the results are up to our higher power. It is up to our higher power to remove our defects. It is up to me whether or not I will ACT on these defects and continue the behavior. But you're right, acceptance is first.
    1508 days ago
    Maybe you should pick just one thing or one area to work on and not have too many goals to strive for.... That often works better for me though I always WANT to work on ten goals at a time...
    1508 days ago
    Its not easy to overcome weakness.
    Sometimes I think its human.

    But you can try to do the best.
    1508 days ago
    I see your little dog watching them - wonder what he thought--?

    I understand all too well what you mean about doing nothing and time passing. Your blog makes me uncomfortably aware how prone I am to doing the same thing. Does it all come down to self-motivation? I mean, procrastination wouldn't happen if we motivated ourselves to get something done... clutter wouldn't happen if we motivated ourselves to clean things up, put things away... even poor eating habits wouldn't happen if we motivated ourselves to plan meals, shop for healthy foods, etc.

    So how do we get self-motivation? How do we stoke the fires for TO DO?
    1508 days ago
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