Monday, February 03, 2014
My birthday was yesterday. And my husband got me chocolate for my birthday. Now, I'm not one of those people that completely denies myself things. I don't do that because it doesn't work for me. But, last year I specifically told my husband to stop buying me chocolate/candy for birthdays/holidays/etc.
And it made me so angry! I'll admit, my anger was probably amplified by hormones. And I probably came off as sounding spoiled and ungrateful, but our conversation went something like this:
"I wish you hadn't have bought me chocolate."
"You can eat it later."
"I don't WANT to eat it later."
Last year he got me the exact same chocolate (I don't even like it that much but he ALWAYS buys the same kind) as part of my gift and I didn't finish eating it until August. I'd rather not have it at all. This year that was the only thing he got me. And he said it was because I didn't tell him what I wanted.
And it hurt my feelings. And then he felt guilty. And then I felt guilty that he felt guilty.
When we went to the store to pick something for his aunt (it was also her birthday) he asked me if I wanted him to get me a giftcard. And, I told him no. Because I really felt like he should have thought of that before then. But now I feel like I didn't really get anything. But it's not really so much about getting "stuff" as much as I feel like he didn't put any thought in to it, and that I think is what really hurt my feelings.
And I feel bad writing this because it kind of makes him sound like a horrible and inconsiderate person, and he's really not.
I think I probably have a lot of raw nerves lately anyway. And I think this was just a crappy birthday.