Saturday, February 01, 2014
So.....I didn't really start of 2014 with a running start. January kind of consumed me. It started from being home for the holidays, I think. I just don't do well when I'm back in that environment. It took me like 3 weeks to start writing again after that and I just felt....blah. Depression and anxiety were definitely getting me in January, and while I know it's not all related to being home for Christmas, I know it's part of it. I know people are going to want me to come home at the end of the month for my birthday and my dad's birthday, but I think I'm going to tell my parents that they need to come to me. I'm pretty sure my dad and step-mom will come up if I ask, but I'm not sure my mom and step-dad will.
Anyway, I'm going to try to not dwell on it and just move forward. I'm going to start by simply taking a walk with the dogs today. It's finally a decent temp outside and it wasn't too windy when I took them out this morning, so it should be nice. And then tomorrow I'm going to text my boss and ask him if I can take advantage of the free gym membership they're offering. I was looking at the gym's website the other day and it actually looks pretty nice. And they have classes! As ridiculous as I'll feel, I'd really like to check out a zumba class. And they have a boxing class!!
The Biggest Loser Run/Walk series added some races to their schedule and they have a mud run in NYC in April! I really want to do it, but I don't want to do it alone. And I'm having trouble finding someone who will go with me. :( I'm trying to figure out why I don't want to go alone. I think it's because I don't want to be left at the end of the pack doing the obstacles by myself because while the challenge is still there, it will take away from some of the fun? I don't know. I just posted it on facebook and I'm hoping SOMEONE will want to do it with me.
And I need to focus on getting food back in control. I've been eating like a crazy person. I know that I can look to the depression/anxiety for that one, so I just need to let it go. Another problem I'm having, though, is that I can't really afford to go grocery shopping so I'm eating what's in the apartment which severely limits my healthy-ish options. Not to mention my protein sources. I do have some lentils, so I think I might just grab a few bell peppers and an onion from the corner store tomorrow and make them for this week. You know, I should just be grateful that I have food in the house to eat when I can't afford to go to the store for fresh stuff. I know everyone is not that fortunate.
I can start fresh today. All it takes is one healthy choice. :)