Thursday, January 30, 2014
Symbols can seem so silly. I remember the first time I looked and Sparkgoodies and it was like - say what?! But today I got a tiara Sparkgoodie and it brought back all the sensations of being the woman that daily did stairs, mile walks and reached a weigh where even if not skinny, I was proud of my picture.
So I started again today. I cleared off my old streak counter. I logged food, did a really easy starter bit of exercise (Nicole's seated 12-minute core workout), I blogged for the second day in a row - I also started working on clearing out my over 8,000 email inbox that has piled up since the road trip, holidays and illness.
So does this mean I feel well? Nope, I don't but I realize I need to start being mindful again. My body is super unconditioned. I'm at 211 pounds. That is down from the 236 soar that happened after my father's death (yea with retrospect so much easier to see that as emotional eating and tons of fast food as I was trying to manage so much) - yet my body is nothing like it was before my father's passing.
So I'm going to try to do a daily dig out of this hole. 10 minutes a day of each tracking, exercise and a personal goal...and increase as I can by 5 minutes. How long will it take to get to an 8 hour day? I don't know, but I do know I need to be doing more.
February 1 in the 1 year anniversary of my dad's passing. In so many ways, I was the widow this year. Because my mother was in the hospital with a broken hip when he died, it was me that did all the typical things a widow might do - burial and funeral arrangements, talking to friends and relatives, tax and accounting clean up - now that is truly wrapped up. I've had a strange feeling all year that my father has been pulling on me, not wanting to be alone. I've had nightmares about his final week. I've projected that on myself.
Today I put on my tiara and started acting like a person expecting a day that she will be feeling well again.
Day 1: Tracked food, weighed in, did 10 minutes of exercise, and cleared my 8000+ in box to 5,710.