Today I was supposed to have served jury duty but they ended up not needing my group and so I didn't have to go! Since I had no plans for the day, and since my kids (2 boys, almost-4-years and 20-months) are still a little sick, we lazed around the house all day. My husband was home from work--since he was expecting to watch the kids while I was doing the jury duty thing, he went ahead and stayed with us and worked from home--and I took advantage and crawled in bed for an afternoon nap. THREE HOURS LATER, I woke up refreshed but a little disoriented. I had no idea I could nap for that long! Super great husband for letting me rest.
My diet was impeccable today. I made a late breakfast of a generous bowl of rolled oats with cinnamon, almond milk, banana, and strawberries:
When I woke up from my nap I was super hungry. Unfortunately, the reason I woke up was because the maintenance guy needed to fix the faucet in the kitchen, so I couldn't prepare anything for almost an hour. This was my first temptation, as there was plenty of food (bread, crackers, treats) that I could have grazed on from the pantry, but I didn't want to give in on day two, so I just had a couple of apples and reread some passages from "Eat to Live" by Dr. Fuhrman while I waited for the repairs to be finished.
After he left it was a little after 4pm and I chopped up this incredible salad. Even my 4-year-old had a bowl of it! It had romaine, kidney beans, tomatoes, carrots, red bell pepper, cucumber, mushrooms, and lemon juice.
It took me a while to eat the whole thing, but I felt so satisfied and healthy when I was finished. And I had a couple of strawberries for dessert. I didn't eat anything else today, and I realize this is a very low amount of calories for the day, but I wasn't feeling great, I had that long nap, and I started my period today. I could have easily grazed on junk all day, but my HUNGER and my APPETITE are not the same thing--something I am slowly learning.
Later in the afternoon a package arrived on our doorstep from a dear friend of mine. It was a "love you, be happy" package and included several kinds of chocolate and some gifts for my children. Most of the chocolate was easy to resist, but she also included a small box of fudge from the bookstore of the university I attended for my undergraduate degree. I LOVE THIS FUDGE. It is seriously so incredible, and I was panicked when I opened the package. What do I do? Can I just eat some, and throw the rest away? Can I have ONE LAST BINGE and then start over tomorrow? I decided to put it in the cupboard and think about it later . . . which resulted in me thinking about that damn fudge all afternoon and into the evening. At one point I even unwrapped my favorite piece--chocolate caramel--and let it sit on the counter while I debated eating it.
I'm proud to report that I wrapped that candy back up and put it back in the box and didn't taste a bite of it. It's still in the pantry, and I'm thinking I will give it to a friend tomorrow or something. I know I can't keep it around for long or I might succumb.
I really paid attention to my self-talk surrounding that fudge and the way I felt tonight. My crazy food-addicted brain was trying every trick in the book to convince me to eat just a little. But "just a little" has started every single episode of overeating and I know that I have to make different choices--FOREVER--if I want to see different results. I'm not saying I won't ever eat a piece of fudge again in my entire life; I don't know whether I will or not. I just know that I'm not strong enough right now to only have a small amount. I want it all. And I feel so empowered tonight knowing that I AM strong enough to do this. These little victories will just keep adding up and I WILL achieve my goals.
Did you have any little victories today?