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A big NSV for me

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

It actually happened on 1-22-14... and I'm sorry I didn't write about it then, but I can honestly say I'm very very proud of myself for it.

Here's what I wrote that evening in an email to my weight watchers leader:


Sorry if this story is a bit disjointed, but bear with me.

Today 13 years ago we lost my dad.

He had entered the hospital on 12/27 and at first they had no idea what was wrong... he was experiencing pain that they couldn't find a cause for. He was transferred to a larger hospital where they figured out it was shingles. He seemed to be rallying from it when a secondary infection killed him. It was unexpected.

I was about 20 weeks pregnant with my son (a child conceived after 2 yrs of trying, one year of that with fertility help)..

Shattered is the word that comes to mind when I think of the call that told us he was gone... he was only 53 years old.

13 years and I still miss him... and the loss is keener on this day.

When I first got home I checked my active link and it was at 55%. (I have been trying to start/keep up a streak of 100% or better on active link)

I was feeling down and blue and missing my dad... and I *definitely* didn't want to go outside and walk. $%# cold and some of my neighbors don't exactly clear their sidewalks as well as they should. (Plus this powdery snow drifts and blows).

In the past I would have used my poor mood and the cold as excuses to wallow in the blues and not move....but I found a video and moved my butt, got the sweat going and felt my mood lift just a bit. I still miss my dad, but I think he'd be proud of me for doing what I can to get healthier.

Now active link says 5 activity points and exactly 100%. Streak day 10 (Previous record was 24 days... I'm determined to break it.)

and I didn't write this then, but it happened and it was true. I consciously realized that I was sad... and that it was okay and NORMAL to be sad on this particular day. I didn't need to eat to stuff down my feelings. I was sad, d*mnit, and that was normal... I could acknowledge it, feel it and then I did something that even though I didn't want to on one level, on another level I KNEW would help me. Then I was proud of myself and teary because I knew as I said up above that my dad would be proud.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Good for you. You owned that feeling of sadness and you didn't let that stop you from reaching your goal. That is really great. Congratulations!
    1454 days ago
  • MUFFIY831
    Well said, and good for you. It's a funny thing, isn't it, when you finally realize you can't eat your feelings away? It's like, "Well duuuuuuhh," but it sure does take a long time to figure that out. :)
    1454 days ago
    Having just lost my dad a few months ago, I can really feel your pain and understand what a huge victory this is. Way to go!
    1455 days ago
    Thanks for sharing your story. That's powerful. I wonder what I have in my own life to motivate me that much. Something to think about I guess.
    1455 days ago
    What a great story.
    1455 days ago
    This blog has all sorts of good in it - even mixed in with the sorrow - what a wonderful gift you gave yourself on that tough day.

    Take good care of yourself!

    1455 days ago
    Glad you could finally write about being sad, come to terms with it and understand it. Very impressive! Keep up the good work!

    1455 days ago
    It's really easier to do nothing when we get down, so good for you. WIth a recent loss ,yself, you really have to push thru some days and get enough rest, exercise and good food. Good for you!!
    1455 days ago
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