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    PIXIEMOM13   27,533
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A big NSV for me

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

It actually happened on 1-22-14... and I'm sorry I didn't write about it then, but I can honestly say I'm very very proud of myself for it.

Here's what I wrote that evening in an email to my weight watchers leader:

*****

Sorry if this story is a bit disjointed, but bear with me.

Today 13 years ago we lost my dad.

He had entered the hospital on 12/27 and at first they had no idea what was wrong... he was experiencing pain that they couldn't find a cause for. He was transferred to a larger hospital where they figured out it was shingles. He seemed to be rallying from it when a secondary infection killed him. It was unexpected.

I was about 20 weeks pregnant with my son (a child conceived after 2 yrs of trying, one year of that with fertility help)..

Shattered is the word that comes to mind when I think of the call that told us he was gone... he was only 53 years old.

13 years and I still miss him... and the loss is keener on this day.


When I first got home I checked my active link and it was at 55%. (I have been trying to start/keep up a streak of 100% or better on active link)

I was feeling down and blue and missing my dad... and I *definitely* didn't want to go outside and walk. $%# cold and some of my neighbors don't exactly clear their sidewalks as well as they should. (Plus this powdery snow drifts and blows).

In the past I would have used my poor mood and the cold as excuses to wallow in the blues and not move....but I found a video and moved my butt, got the sweat going and felt my mood lift just a bit. I still miss my dad, but I think he'd be proud of me for doing what I can to get healthier.

Now active link says 5 activity points and exactly 100%. Streak day 10 (Previous record was 24 days... I'm determined to break it.)

*****
and I didn't write this then, but it happened and it was true. I consciously realized that I was sad... and that it was okay and NORMAL to be sad on this particular day. I didn't need to eat to stuff down my feelings. I was sad, d*mnit, and that was normal... I could acknowledge it, feel it and then I did something that even though I didn't want to on one level, on another level I KNEW would help me. Then I was proud of myself and teary because I knew as I said up above that my dad would be proud.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REBECCAMA 1/29/2014 2:00PM

  Good for you. You owned that feeling of sadness and you didn't let that stop you from reaching your goal. That is really great. Congratulations!

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MUFFIY831 1/29/2014 9:16AM

    Well said, and good for you. It's a funny thing, isn't it, when you finally realize you can't eat your feelings away? It's like, "Well duuuuuuhh," but it sure does take a long time to figure that out. :)

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LILMISSRED79 1/29/2014 12:27AM

    Having just lost my dad a few months ago, I can really feel your pain and understand what a huge victory this is. Way to go!

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TEMPENATIVE 1/29/2014 12:06AM

    Thanks for sharing your story. That's powerful. I wonder what I have in my own life to motivate me that much. Something to think about I guess.

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TIMOTHY53 1/28/2014 11:09PM

    What a great story.

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IRISHBEANERGAL 1/28/2014 10:11PM

    This blog has all sorts of good in it - even mixed in with the sorrow - what a wonderful gift you gave yourself on that tough day.

Take good care of yourself!

~Irish

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ELLEJAY7 1/28/2014 7:19PM

    Glad you could finally write about being sad, come to terms with it and understand it. Very impressive! Keep up the good work!


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STEVEN_D 1/28/2014 7:07PM

    It's really easier to do nothing when we get down, so good for you. WIth a recent loss ,yself, you really have to push thru some days and get enough rest, exercise and good food. Good for you!!

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