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Time to Educate "Dear Abby"

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

I read today's "Dear Abby" and smoke began broiling out of my head. I am pasting in the article. She never seems to point people in the direction of SparkPeople - quite possibly because she doesn't know how SparkPeople could help women duh as the lady who wrote in today because of her husband's hurtful comments.

Here goes:
Here is your Dear Abby brought to you by

(I get these in email as well as read in dead tree edition. I have snipped out the letters that don't apply to my blog).


DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Sean" for five years. I am 27, stand
5 feet 7 inches tall and weigh 120 pounds. Sean is constantly pushing
me to exercise more, and he comments on my thighs and stomach a lot. He
tells me it's not a weight issue, but I need to "work off some fat and
gain more muscle." He wasn't like this when we got married.

I love my body, and I know I'm not fat or overweight. I walk 4 miles
round trip to work. My entire workday is spent on my feet, walking or
running. I get plenty of exercise, and I'm healthy and active.

This is really hurting my confidence. It bothers me to hear that
someone I love thinks my normal body is unattractive because of barely
there "fat." I don't know what gave Sean this idea. How do I deal with

DEAR JUST RIGHT: The kind of body your husband would like you to have
seems more descriptive of a skinny teenager than a healthy young woman.
Is he a body builder or a gym rat? You deal with it by asking your
husband why he thinks your normal body is unattractive, listen
carefully to his response and, if necessary, run it by your doctor.


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne
Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear
Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All
of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send your name and mailing
address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby,
Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and
handling are included in the price.)


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I'm thinking as many as wish to write her and give her the lowdown on SparkPeople and how that woman needs to come check out SparkPeople - if for no other reason than to reinforce her positive self-image and maybe some tips on how to deal with her husband's comments?? I left the address and website info so people could email or snail mail as they wished.

What would you tell her? ( either Dear Abby or the young wife who just wrote Dear Abby...)??
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • 123456789100
    I'm with a few others.. sparks is a wonderful place to find support.. and it isn't just for fat people.. but without needing or wanting to lose weight or gain more muscle herself there isn't really much for her to work on here.

    She might do better to seek a couples counselor.
    1510 days ago
    As usual, thanks for sharing. I think it's a shame that normal healthy people have others tell them that they are somehow broken. Sparks people is a great place to find the support!
    1511 days ago
    I did write to Dear Abby a few days ago. Of course, she won't listen to just one person, I don't imagine. But if she gets comments from more than one SparkPerson, it might help. There's a place on her website, www dot dearabby dot com and you have to fill out your name and address (which I've done before but I don't get any spam from them.).
    1513 days ago
  • 3016DEBRA
    Shame on HIM!!! I'd punch him in the gut & tell him to hit the trail! emoticon
    1513 days ago
    I so much agree!! The advise she gave the young woman was kind of useless. People do write to Dear Abby with their own answers. Maybe you can write to them and share about Spark People! That would be emoticon Thanks for sharing. emoticon
    1513 days ago
    Frankly, what I'd tell that man would not be printable, so I'll just leave it @ that.
    1514 days ago
    Something tells me that they won't be together for long. I suspect he is a controller.
    1514 days ago
    Sounds like the relationship is in trouble...

    : )
    1514 days ago
    Well…it sound like a form of abuse on his part by trying to keep her insecure so she doesn't get the upper hand. At 5'7" and 120#. She is below the "low" on height/ weight chart. The guy clearly lacks depth also. Is she a wonderful caring soul? A joy to be around?
    1514 days ago
  • MJ7DM33
    1515 days ago
    You really don't want to know what I'd tell that poor woman's husband. It wouldn't be nice. As for Dear Abby, she needs to get a life and stop trying to tell the world how to live.
    1515 days ago
    don't read the dear abby column any more, because too much of it is outdated. this guy is using body image as a abusing bullying technique. talking to him won't work. running very fast away from him will.
    1515 days ago
    She is not overweight. She does not need Spark People, as that would just reinforce the ideas of her #!@&£$$ husband! She needs to get her husband sat down and get some communication going, most importantly to 'set him straight'. If he can't get the message, she needs to take a hard look at what is going on with him. Cause what he is doing isn't love; it's emotional abuse.
    1515 days ago
    She needs to tell her husband to get off the body shaming bandwagon and to love her for who she is. And if he can't do either then he needs to turn the mirror around on himself and/or to keep his trap shut. SparkPeople could help her in some ways, but I'd fear she'd get on this site and start to work toward the weight loss instead of finding the positive reinforcement for the way she already is right off the bat.
    1515 days ago
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