Tuesday, January 28, 2014
If you read my last blog, you would have known what I and my family have been going through.
I know that in time, we all have to go down this path of life, but it's not easy.
My Dad passed away.
His funeral was Saturday. It was tough.
The phone call came in the morning. I was just getting up to get ready to spend another week at the hospital. My husband answered the phone and my brother shared the news.
What mixtures of feelings I had.
My poor Mom. She's going to be lonely.
My poor kids. They're going to miss a huge presence in their lives.
Tests have to be written for the whole week in school. Finals. Now what?
Needless to say, the funeral was a week away. There was no other alternative. My brother wanted it sooner, but life goes on. Finals (especially diploma exams) have to be written.
What a week I had. The rushing, the planning the pictures that we had to get together. The phone calls, the shopping, errands, the right things to say. The tears. It was such a whirlwind of activity and emotion.
Have I cried? Some. Not much. I just can't right now. I feel so numb. I have children to comfort and Mother to be there for, siblings to cope with. I was leaned on more than the others and I just feel exhausted.
Yet, after the funeral, the very next day. We went to see Mom and she hasn't been alone. My DD3 had spent the night over during all of this. Or my Mom was over at our house or with my sister.
I have to say, the house was quiet. No more blaring radio, no more loud voice, no more huge presence. My Dad had such a big personality. It's gone.
We actually notice the clock ticking.
Life is full of changes, challenges and loss.
There is such a stillness in the air.
Like a moment of solitude, even though we are all together.
I'm going to miss him.