Sunday, January 26, 2014
I've been back on track with eating healthy and exercising regularly for the last several weeks. And I'm not seeing any weight loss so far. Its really frustrating me.
I'll admit, I've been snacking without tracking in the evenings, but not going totally overboard. I'll track the entire rest of my day, and know I have a couple hundred left over, and then I'll snack while packing my lunch for the next day, or while I'm making dinner. Before you suggest that I eat more during my meals, or consider more nutrient dense foods, let me stop you. That's not my problem. In the time since I joined SP, I've learned more about why I'm overweight, and what causes me to overeat. Before I would say "I don't know, there's no reason, I'm just not into healthy food or exercise". Now I realize that I am dependent on food because it makes me feel good, emotionally good. I enjoy eating because it makes my brain feel so happy, even though I feel not happy after it happens.
Last night, I was a bit tired from a very long work week (Saturday is my last day of the work week), I sat down after dinner to relax and catch up on the few programs I've got on my DVR. Then I started craving sugar - confession: I'm also just a few days before my period and I'm a bit hormonal, which normally lends itself to food cravings. I had a bag of work-related Skittles at home, part of a huge prize bin from our corporate office that I have to save until our awards party in a few weeks that wouldn't have had in my house otherwise. It used to be in my trunk, then I needed the space....maybe I should put it back there.
I sat down and ate the Skittles for 30 minutes straight. And it felt so good. It was relaxing, they tasted so good, and I had this overall feeling of calm and happiness. Then I got a huge stomach ache. But I did it anyway - despite having done 5 days of serious workouts this week, besides packing my lunch every day last week instead of eating out. I undid that in 30 minutes, and no matter how hard I fought it, the Skittles won.
I may have insight into why I overeat, but I haven't yet figured out how I'm going to overcome it. Sure, maybe if I'd gotten on the treadmill instead of watched TV, I wouldn't have stuffed my face with candy. I already know that. But I always choose the food instead of the diversion away from the food. Always. It's not as easy as just not doing it, otherwise I wouldn't be doing it, right?!