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    LILLIPUTIANNA   39,362
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints

The Sparker Without Spark

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Yes…I've been gone a while. Sorry. I promise not to wander away again!

But that's not what this blog is about.

Every once in a while, I run into a Sparker who seems to be filled with nothing but vitriol. They are angry. They know everything. You know nothing. AND they feel the need to yell at you about it.

I literally had a Sparker yell all in caps at me about something…and I just sat here looking at her post thinking, "Really? You feel the need to yell about that?"

So, then I went to her SparkPage…and she has two friends. I believe they are the two friends we are all given when we join. And I think to myself, "Self, that's why she only has two friends…because she's unpleasant and yells at people." She's been here a year…and hasn't made friends with anyone.

I could feel bad for her. I could wonder what it must be like to alienate everyone who you talk to. I could think to myself, "Self, would you like it if you were all alone?"

My answer would be, "No…I wouldn't like it if I was all alone…but I don't go around yelling at people."

So, what do you think Sparkers? Do we owe people who can't play nice with others our sympathy? Or do they have nobody to blame but themselves for their misery? Do you think being a mean person would some how affect their body image? Do you think having a grouchy attitude would be a stumbling block when it comes to weight loss?

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
JLPEASE 2/3/2014 4:17PM

    Missing out on one of the most important benefits of this site is that person's loss. Just ignore him/her and post whatever you want. If someone doesn't like it they don't have to read it. Getting down on somebody else is just plain rude and inappropriate. emoticon

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EGRAMMY 1/27/2014 8:39PM

    All the advice says hang out with positive people. Amen

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ROSEWAND 1/26/2014 1:52PM

    The amazing aspect to Spark is all the wonderful
people who are here. It is the kindest place I
have ever experienced on the internet.

The anonymity of the web often brings out the
worst in people. Fortunately, it is rarely experienced
here. emoticon

It is best to just move on and connect with those
who care. emoticon Spark is full
of awesome lovely people. emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/26/2014 1:53:15 PM

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LOVINGLIFE45 1/26/2014 12:14PM

And as far as the nasty sparker, who cares there are plenty of us who care enough to be our best.

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KATD13 1/26/2014 11:37AM

    Just my opinion, on your questions:

"Do we owe people who can't play nice with others our sympathy?"

"Do they have nobody to blame but themselves for their misery?"
* Not sure what causes their misery. But they don't need to share it.

"Do you think being a mean person would some how affect their body image?"
* No, mean comes in all shapes and sizes.

"Do you think having a grouchy attitude would be a stumbling block when it comes to weight loss?"
* I don't think so. Weight loss is about calories in / calories out.

It's just a fact of life. No matter where you go or what you do...your gonna run into @$$holes. You can't change them, only how you react to them.

Comment edited on: 1/26/2014 11:38:19 AM

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OLAFGLADANDBIG 1/26/2014 10:16AM

    I have no opinion about your question, but I am very happy to see you. I was gone for four months or so and it made me sad that you were gone when I got back. I hope everything is well.

I guess I do have an opinion. We don't owe anyone anything. That said, I find it hard to live my life if I can't develop an explanation for why people behave in the terrible ways they do. That doesn't mean I feel sorry for them, although it can, but it makes humanity seem a lot more redeemable, and that's an important value for me.

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FFUSCO 1/26/2014 9:08AM

    Yeah. Been there. It is probably best just to take a deep breath and look the other way. Not worth the energy.

I had an experience a couple months back where someone actually wrote that this site was not the space for my posting of setbacks caused by poor thinking and a resentment or two that I had at the time. Basically, it was difficult for me to share to begin with, but somewhat cathartic, and then here is this stranger telling me to stop and not share at all.

It bothered me for a day or two, but then I just deleted my original comment or blog, forget which, and her comment disappeared in to the ethers with it.

For what it's worth, try just to ignore it. It only represents negative thinking that we on this site have no time or space for.

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ANNIEONLI 1/26/2014 6:55AM

    WELCOME BACK! emoticon

I used caps - just because emoticon

Honestly, there are some around here like that...sometimes, we have to turn the other cheek and do what you just did, see where they are coming from. Not everyone is pleasant all the time, and it would have been better for the person to just move on instead of being harsh. Who knows, maybe they will read this and have the point hit home.

Don't let it dull your Spark!!!!

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JUST_TRI_IT 1/25/2014 11:56PM

    That's too bad. Someone was in a bad mood! The good thing is most of the folks you run into here look for ways to be supportive.

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LILLIPUTIANNA 1/25/2014 11:31PM

    VEGIBIKER, most Sparkers are nice people. But every once in a while you run into that person who seems like maybe they haven't quite caught the Spark. There are so many of us here, I suppose sooner or later a Grouchy McGrouchy pants is likely to wander into our midst.

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VEGIBIKER 1/25/2014 11:21PM

    I'm sorry you were yelled at - sounds like this person responded to you out of their pain - instead of from a place of understanding and friendship. I hope you've found this experience to be rare - and more importantly - are finding real friends who are willing and able to encouraging you as you pursue your goals. Hang in there!

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LOSE4LIFE47 1/25/2014 11:20PM

    That is so sad for people to be so negative & be hateful.

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