Saturday, January 25, 2014
Well, I'm still waiting for this dumb cough to go away and whatever is in my lungs to clear out already. However, I'm feeling well enough to be absolutely appalled by the state of my house, and I'm slowly going around throwing out all the mountains of kleenex, as well as other, less savory things.
You may or may not remember me mentioning in a previous blog that I had left pizza sitting out on the counter, ostensibly to let the mold have a field day with it. I got around to checking on it today to see how it was progressing and to finally throw it out. The pizza was ordered on January 17. Today is January 25. I was hoping for something pretty impressive, and fully expecting to have to notify a HAZ-MAT crew. So saying, I got the kitchen tongs and cautiously opened the pizza box...
THAT PIZZA WAS PRISTINE. There was not a speck of mold growing anywhere on that pizza. I mean, yeah, it was a little dried out, but it looked like all you'd have to do is nuke it and you'd be good to go. No green, no fuzz, no nothin'.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I am highly suspicious of anything that can sit out for THAT long and not grow mold. I mean, it's carbohydrate based, for Pete's sake!!! It has CHEESE on it, and CHEESE is MOLDY MILK!!! I can't keep fresh bread in this house because after a day or two, it molds! If I left a plate of beans on the counter for that long, the mold would have evolved into a colony of sentient life forms by now. It would have elected its own form of representative government. There would have been wars fought, novels written, love lifes lived, and epic deeds of microbial greatness on that plate of beans in the space of eight days. But on my pizza? A wasteland. Nothing that a discerning fungus would want to eat.
Maybe I should be more like my household fungi and be more of a food snob.