Saturday, January 25, 2014
I am going to try to blog a little more. I miss keeping a journal and since none of my friends or anyone I know is on the site I can be a little more candid than I would normally be.
This site refuses to allow me to swear. When I reread my last post, I felt like it was the cable version of a movie with a ton of cursing. How PG13 of you spark people? I swear so much I actually had to read my post 3 times in order to find the curse words. It's so nonchalant to me that my brain doesn't even flag them as bad words anymore. I have always blamed it on the fact I was Italian and from New Jersey. Also, my dad was a trucker... and it makes me sounds cool.
For the record, I am not new to Sparkpeople. I have been on this site for two years. I find it to be helpful but I lack real world motivation. I hate cooking meals for one person. When you cook for one and are on a diet, food goes bad much quicker because you don't eat as much. It's very annoying. I spend way more money and time on food when I am "on the wagon" but still feel twice as hungry. I also loathe exercising and it being so flippin' cold out makes me not want to do much of anything. I never want to do much of anything but I find that it is amplified by a million when it is this cold out!
Here is a list of reasons I want to be healthy:
1.) I really hate shopping for plus size clothes. They are beyond ugly.
2.) My family is riddled with genetic health problems. I am screwed if I don't loose weight.
3.) I'm an ER nurse. I don't want to have to need CPR while doing CPR. It's hard work!
4.) I hate telling people I had gastric bypass and broke it. I obviously gained back a lot.
5.) I want to get married and have kids. I can't do that when I spend so much time hating myself.
5.) I am a middle child Leo- Starved for attention! I love when people tell me I look good!
6.) I want to look at myself in the mirror and be proud, not completely repulsed.
7.) I want to look good for my brothers wedding- Maybe even have a date ;)
8.) I want people to take my medical advise. No one is going to listen to a fat, chain smoking, occasionally binge drinking, gambling nurse.
9.) I want to like how I look in photos and not want to cry until I am "untagged" from them.
10.) I want to go on a plane/roller coaster/camping chair/movie theater chair/ restaurant booth without being scared if I am going to fit. It's mortifying!