I've been completely off track for almost two weeks now, and it is showing. I don't weigh myself but I can tell I've gained weight. My clothes are not just a little tight, they are a LOT tight. Uncomfortably tight!
My husband started feeling really ill a couple of weeks ago. He was nauseous and had pains in his stomach. It was so intense that he could barely sleep at night, and due to worrying about him, I was not getting much sleep either. I stopped working out.....and then stopped eating healthy foods. I was just grabbing the quickest thing available, and I didn't worry about the calories. I was just worried about my hubby, and wanting him to get better. I tried to get him to go to the hospital, but he refused. Then, after almost 4 full days of pain, he said he was having trouble breathing. I told him that he was either letting me drive him to the emergency room, or I was calling an ambulance. He was furious with me, but I got furious right back at him! I told him "I have already been through being a widow once, and I'm not ready to go through it again, so get your shoes on because we're going to the hospital right now."
I'm so glad that he finally agreed to go to the hospital, because it turned out that he had a ruptured appendix, and that could have been fatal! He had surgery and was in rough shape for a while there. But finally after 6 days, he was able to come home. He's still got a lot of recovering to do, but he's going to be okay. Thank you to all of my Spark friends who kept him in your prayers!
Unfortunately, while hubby was in the hospital, I didn't exercise at all, other than walking the halls. Plus, I was eating junk food. I admit it. Once I got my first taste of junk food from the hospital vending machine, I was hooked! I won't tell you the awful things I indulged in, but trust me...I indulged! I thought I'd lost my taste for junk food, but all it took was one bite to reacquire it! I knew it was bad for me. I knew I was putting the pounds back on, and quickly. But I didn't care. I felt like I needed to comfort myself with as much food as I could. I was soothing my worry by smothering it in sugar and fat.
Hubby is recovering well now, and I don't have to worry so much. But I feel like I've woken up the monkey...the junk food monkey! He's on my back again, and I need to fight him. I'm not going to let him turn me into a junk food junkie again, so I am going to do my best to get back on track, and start a new streak. I've taken a few steps in the wrong direction, and I've undone some of the progress I've made. But I know I can get moving in the RIGHT direction again. I am not giving up.
The food was comforting, but in the end, it was not worth the UN-comfortable way I am feeling now with these extra pounds. I'm going to get right back to work, starting today. One of my favorite sayings is "No matter how far you've gone down a wrong road, turn back." And thats exactly what I'm going to do.