Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Yesterday. Phew. 12+ hours. Court started 8:30am, and it ended at 9pm. That was a seriously long, emotionally draining, completely disturbing day. You all know I represent victims of sexual assault, and that's a pretty tough job. My case yesterday went beyond that. It also involved child exploitation. The things I heard yesterday - I hope no one ever has to hear in their lifetime. I felt nauseaus and sick most of the day (no child victims were my clients). It was a guilty plea case, and the judge was determined to do it all in one day, and he succeeded. But OMG. I was done at 8:30pm. I was ready to just break down and start crying in my office. I want to erase my brain.
It was the kind of day where you go home and you dont want to be alone. You want to know there is happiness somewhere. You want to feel loved and cared about. You kind of just want a hug. But I went home, alone. To my dog. Just one of those things I need to get used to. I know I am strong, but I felt very weak yesterday. I survived, since I am here writing this. Not that I was worried. It just was really sad to listen to such horrible things all day and then go home and feel very alone.
I planned to come in late today, and I did stay in bed one hour extra, but then I felt panicky about things I need to get done today so I rushed to work. :/ I am leaving on Friday to go to Montana for about a week. That is going to be another difficult week, but at least it doesnt involve child victims. So today and tomorrow I have a TON of phone calls and scheduling to do before I'm out again.
Hoping to get in a run today. I missed my dance classes last night, and I am really sad about that because it was going to be my first tap class! Now I have to wait 2 weeks since I'll be out of town next week. But hopefully I'll be able to get in some workouts while I am out of town, including my 10 mile training run!