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Long Day in Court

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Yesterday. Phew. 12+ hours. Court started 8:30am, and it ended at 9pm. That was a seriously long, emotionally draining, completely disturbing day. You all know I represent victims of sexual assault, and that's a pretty tough job. My case yesterday went beyond that. It also involved child exploitation. The things I heard yesterday - I hope no one ever has to hear in their lifetime. I felt nauseaus and sick most of the day (no child victims were my clients). It was a guilty plea case, and the judge was determined to do it all in one day, and he succeeded. But OMG. I was done at 8:30pm. I was ready to just break down and start crying in my office. I want to erase my brain.

It was the kind of day where you go home and you dont want to be alone. You want to know there is happiness somewhere. You want to feel loved and cared about. You kind of just want a hug. But I went home, alone. To my dog. Just one of those things I need to get used to. I know I am strong, but I felt very weak yesterday. I survived, since I am here writing this. Not that I was worried. It just was really sad to listen to such horrible things all day and then go home and feel very alone.

I planned to come in late today, and I did stay in bed one hour extra, but then I felt panicky about things I need to get done today so I rushed to work. :/ I am leaving on Friday to go to Montana for about a week. That is going to be another difficult week, but at least it doesnt involve child victims. So today and tomorrow I have a TON of phone calls and scheduling to do before I'm out again.

Hoping to get in a run today. I missed my dance classes last night, and I am really sad about that because it was going to be my first tap class! Now I have to wait 2 weeks since I'll be out of town next week. But hopefully I'll be able to get in some workouts while I am out of town, including my 10 mile training run!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CHEMCHIC2006
    Wow, I didn't know you worked on those type of cases.. your clients are all military yes? They made us take a ton of training last year (and probably this year) on the issues the armed forces has been having with sexual assault. They made us watch The Invisible War video.. it was so sick and unsettling. I am civilian, not military, but I really can't believe things like that go on and how people get away with it. Thank you for your service and dedication on those cases. I'm so glad the armed forces are working on correcting their devastating shortcomings regarding that subject.
    993 days ago
    I know what you mean about having a hard day and then going home to an empty house. I'm much older than you and I don't even have a dog. emoticon
    1000 days ago
    You are an amazing person, thank you for doing what you do and standing up for victims!
    1000 days ago
    Hug that dog! That's what I do when I come home to an otherwise empty house. emoticon emoticon
    1001 days ago
    What a brutal day.Thank heavens there are people prepared to do the necessary job of working for justice though .
    1001 days ago
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    1001 days ago
    1002 days ago
    Oh honey, that sounds like an awful day :( I'm so glad you were there to do it though, people who do that sort of thing NEED to be punished and while it's a very nasty job we're lucky in this world to have people like you who put their own needs and wants on the back burner to make sure that victims have a voice. You're amazing girl!

    I'm sorry you were by yourself at the end of that, but as a mama myself I thank you for putting yourself out there to speak for someone else's child, even if the children involved weren't your clients. I hope you were satisfied with the results, I know that sometimes they feel like they aren't worth it. Keep chugging along though, because you're making a difference emoticon .
    1002 days ago
    That was definitely one very long and intense day. Always know you have friends here at SPARK you can vent to, get virtual hugs from . . .

    Having a dog is good, too. Always unconditional love.

    Working in the legal field (me, too) we are often made privey to the dark underbelly of humanity. I've never had to confront what you were dealing with, but I expect it would have left me feeling very uncertain about the actual intentions of everyone I came across. I'm sorry you didn't have a trusted human with you, but we're here. I send you happy, warm, pleasant thoughts and big, affectionate hugs.

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    1002 days ago
    wow that's a long day period, but having to listen to that all day - girl I feel for you! hoping you are having a better day today!
    1002 days ago
    emoticon Sorry you were physically alone after such a tough work day but know that you always have people supporting you from a distance.
    1002 days ago
    1002 days ago
    I have a job that sounds very similar to yours, and regularly work on similar types of cases. I was in trial yesterday too, although for a much less serious offense. I know it's so taxing. Get your run in. Just remember that running is OUR therapy and we have to protect ourselves before we can protect anyone else.
    1002 days ago
    1002 days ago
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