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    ROXIT22222   9,727
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Confession time

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Hi everyone. I'm back on here, going to be blogging a bit more again. Not quite sure how often yet. Got to figure out the best balance of blogging tracking and living life healthy.

A year and a half ago I was with in 5 lbs of my goal weight. We went on a great vacation. I indulged just a bit. Came home and my daughter graduated high school a year and a half late. So we had a big party! Before getting back on track I started working full time with different hours than before and I couldn't find a good balance of work and good consistent exercise. The weight slowly crept up.

Then December 2nd 2012 while shopping we got the phone call that my brother-in-law had a heart attack. He had been sick for a long time, and we knew the day was coming. He survived and was able to go home. We spent a lot of time going down and seeing him, I kept trying to keep up with my training for an Olympic triathlon. But the food intake became more.

I told my brother in law that I would be doing a Ironman in his honor/memory one day. That made us both happy. Feb 21st he had his last heart attack and didn't recover. (RIP) He is out of pain and free, this we know. Yet we miss him so.

I dedicated my year of triathlons to Mike. Every race was with him on my mind. But I was also eating and drinking the pain away. The weight kept coming on. Doing my events was getting harder and harder as I gained weight.

Just before my last triathlon of the season (a Olympic distance) I was on a group training ride. I fell in the parking lot. I hurt my knee. Mostly superficial yet bruised the knee cap. I went on and ran a 8k race the following weekend, and the olympic two weekends later.

Then I stopped. I was injured, it hurt to do much. I kept eating and drinking the emotional pain away. The weight kept coming on. I was giving up. I didn't want to but I was. I kept saying I'd get back at it soon. I could swim still and I would do that. Then a routine trip to have my ears cleaned out found I had an infection in them and I was told no swimming for two weeks. (It's now been two months and I haven't been in the pool, yet I've been cleared)

Same time as the ear infection I went to a regular chemo appointment with my mother. (she has been fighting successfully stage 4 breast cancer for 5.5 years) The had to change her treatment again, as it stopped working, (this is normal). The first day of her new treatment she just about coded. The following appt we went in and where hit blind sided that we really are out of options. This is the week before Thanks giving. She has officially stopped treatment. Here we go again.... This time my mom.

I found that I couldn't function. I'd have days that even taking a shower was a challenge, I was the saddest I've been in a long time. I was eating everything I could, that was bad for me. I didn't care. I'd lost hope. I had changed dr one that was closer to me. I made a 'just because' appt to see her. By the time the appt came I was realizing that I was sinking into a very dark hole. So I talked with her about depression. I've been here before. She agreed and prescribed me with some meds. They are helping.


So the holidays where spent remembering my brother in law, and creating special times with my mom. Food, good food, and drinks to be had.... Then my daughter turned 21! A party to have for sure that day!

SOOOOO.......

Now here I am. Back at the beginning again, and yet not. I haven't gained all the weight back so that is a plus. My fitness level has decreased some but I'm still able to run a 5k and swim a mile, and bike 26. (not all at the same time). It's harder and I have mental wars with myself that I've slowed down alot, cause I've gained the weight.

This week starts the training for my big event this year. I will be doing a Half Iron Man in Lake Stevens Washington. August 17th! Now to get my self moving excited, and motivated, and to loose this weight!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSUSUZZZIE 1/24/2014 10:00AM

    I'm so sorry to hear about all of the loss in 2013.

You'll be back to your fitness levels and weight in no time. You know how to get it done and you want it. You've got this!

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FITMARY 1/23/2014 9:42AM

    No, this is not back at the beginning. It's just another stop on the journey. Slowing down was a natural reaction considering the situation, and at times like these it's probably best to just go back to basics: moving as much as possible, eating as well as can be expected. You will get through this....
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ADVENTURESEEKER 1/22/2014 6:11PM

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APONI_KB 1/22/2014 1:10PM

    I'm sorry about all of this and glad that you're getting back on track. I've had less drama but job changes and the like so I'm back where I started too.

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RANNYJ 1/22/2014 10:03AM

    Congrats for getting back up and back on track! I too live in WA and have had many struggles with health, family issues, etc. but I am doing my 2nd 5K walk this week-end in Elma and hope to have a bit of a faster time than my first...walked it in under an hour, but I know I can get better.

Never give up! emoticon

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