Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Accomplish blog and jokes for Tuesday
My affirmation for the day:
1I believes in myself
2 I recognize the many good qualities I have.
3.. ... All is well in my world and I am saI see the best in other people.
4. I surround myself with people who bring out the best in me
5. I am becoming more emotionally healthy
6 I am always growing and developing.
I am today grateful for:
1 having a great job
:2 my sis
3 getting to exercise tonight
4. for mom
5 my VARIOUS facebook team
positive events of today:
1 morning—a nice ride to work with my sis
2 afternoon-my boss talk to me today weithout complaining about something
3 evening –to play a game of scence it with my sis family
OKAY NOW FOR THE JOKES hopefully they funny
!" They had all lived together in the backwoods for over fifty years.
To celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, he took her to a large
city and they checked into a plush hotel.
She said to the bellman, "We refuse to settle for such a small
room. No windows, no bed, no fan," she complained.
"Don't `But, Madam' me," she continued. "You can't treat us
like we're a couple of fools just because we don't travel much,
and we've never been to the big city and never spent the night
at a hotel. I'm going to complain to the manager."
"Madam," the bellman said, "this isn't your room; this is
Bill, Jim & Scott were at a convention together & were sharing
a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper.
After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that
the elevators in their hotel were broken & they would have to
climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.
Bill said to Jim & Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this
unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll
tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next
25 flights and Scott can tell sad stories for the rest of the way."
At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes & Jim began to
sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing & Scott began to tell
"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room
key in the car!"
At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy
asking what time the bar opens.
"It opens at noon," answers the clerk.
About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding
even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks.
"Same time as before... Noon," replies the clerk.
Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered, "Whatjoo
shay the bar opins at?"
The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't
wait, I can have room service send something up to you."
"No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"
A couple was checking out of the hotel after their honeymoon.
When the bill was presented an argument occurred.
"What is this item...$200. for meal?" inquired the groom.
"We have never eaten in your dining room. All I had was beer
in the suite, with eggs that I brought with me."
"Yes sir," replied the manager, "but the wedding package
included meals and the food was there for you. If you didn't
take them, it's not our fault."
"In that case," answered the groom, "we are even, completely
even...because you owe me $200. for making love to my wife!"
"But, I never touched your wife!" protested the manager.
"Well, she was there for you," said the groom. "If you didn't
use her, it's not my fault!!"
A couple just moved into hotel. And the hotel clerk asks the
man after helping him with his luggage.
Maybe, your wife needs something?
Oh, yeah. Thank you for your reminder. Do you sell postcards?
The drunk staggered up to the hotel reception and demanded his
room be changed.
"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel."
"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.
"Very good, sir. I`ll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind
telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.
"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."