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Accomplish blog and jokes for Monday

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Accomplish blog and jokes for Monday
My affirmation for the day:
1., God, you are about to change my life for the better.
2. , I like myself.

3.. Great things are happening today!

4 It is easy for me to be in control of my body; both with my eating and exercising habits
5.. Everything is getting better every day.


I am today grateful for:
1 my nephew not being that hurt from his car accident
2 \for getting to have breakfast with my nephew and sis
3 have a pretty good workday
4 for being able to get a hard pr done
5 for a good meeting with the women group
Positive events of today:
1 morning—getting to eat breakfast with my sis and nephew
i2 afternoon –smoothies day at work
3 evening –good counseling session
OKAY NOW FOR THE JOKES hopefully they funny

Ugly person illness
A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"
"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch
Scared sleeping
Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"
"A hundred dollars per visit."
"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.
Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever
come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.
"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."
"Is that so! How?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

Promoting an office
A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. So much so that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him & put it above his shop entrance.
But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he decided to check it out himself. Then he understood why !
the boy found a small wooden board so he had split the word into the 3 words :

Psycho-
the-
rapist.





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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTYKLAVER 1/21/2014 3:08PM

    Great list of affirmations and accomplishments. I really need to do that.

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2WHEELEDSHARON 1/21/2014 11:21AM

    Great to hear some good things are happening. Thanks for the jokes.

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