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    HEALTHY4CAROLYN   19,453
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MAJOR Life Changes


Monday, January 20, 2014

Well - those that I've "friended" here know how my father-in-law has been so sick for the past several years. In December he returned to the hospital yet again after we've already been on such a roller coaster ride - he did not return home with us this time. emoticon He lost his battle with COPD on January 4, 2014. It has been such an emotional time. That said to say I have NOT taken care of myself during the past 9 months or more to be honest. I've tried on and off but never have been able to get back into it whole-heartedly.
Our home is now for sale as we try to decide IF we should take in my mother-in-law - which again would be another MAJOR change. She just turned 73 and is actually pretty healthy and gets around very well but has never been alone after being married to my father-in-law for over 50 years. She's not difficult in a "bad" way - just very 'scatter-brained', wants everyone to do things for her all the time, etc. She's a great grandmother but can be difficult to handle at times is all. We're praying hard for an answer on that one.

Needless to say - I've handled funeral arrangements, contacted the Navy, the US Postal Service and all life insurance carriers as needed and completed paperwork - which has been a full-time job all it's own.

Speaking of job - again, those that know me here - I FINALLY left the miserable, horrible, hateful employment I was in for 6 years!!! I had enough! I did give a notice but it infuriated the boss so bad that he told me a notice was not required and to "leave now". So, yeah - I was worried for a minute - hoping I had 2 weeks to job hunt - and that's just why he did that (shows how hateful) BUT I called another firm that I knew had been looking and had even given them a resume last year and they were thrilled to have me! SO that has been another change. I can handle the work - but just a different routine and way of doing things as well as being the one to put procedures in place has been tiring.

Needless to say - I have NOT exercised AT ALL....only if cleaning my house often for house showings counts - that's it. LOL

I NEED and I WANT to get this weight off!! ALL of it this time. Tired of it haunting me - I feel miserable due to this weight. Hoping all of my long time Spark Friends are still here and can give encouragement as well as new friends.

Thank goodness for those NEW BEGINNINGS!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
LEZASEDAI 1/22/2014 4:41AM

    I'm sorry for your loss. emoticon
I agree with what others have said, if MIL is healthy and still mentally there it would probably be better for all of you to have her live by herself. Hopefully your town offers support for seniors- I live in a tiny town and I have seen things advertised in the paper. My Mom is 83 and my MIL is 86 and they both live on their own. My Mom doesn't drive at night and MIL doesn't drive at all - DH takes his Mom grocery shopping and to the DR or whatever and mows her lawn. With a little help, they are doing fine.

Congrats on the new job! I am happy that you won't have to deal with your obnoxious boss anymore.

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CAKAROO 1/21/2014 5:22AM

    emoticon

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PICKIE98 1/20/2014 5:24PM

    With a helpless(?) elderly womn with you, you will be a babysitter for the rest of her lifetime. My friend's grandma never drove, paid a bill or even went ANYWHERE without her hubby for 55 years. When he died, she took driving lessons,had bank clerks teach her how to pay bills and use checks,, Division on aging came in and helped her clean once a month, meals on wheels when she was too lazy to cook.

Everybody's personality is different, but unless one is prepared to refuse to do anything for the needy person, this is a nightmare,, It is much harder to get them out once they are in your home..

Senior high rises have field trips, activities, bus trips, all geared towards them. Bingo, ,etc..
If in your home, you will be the cook, driver, accountant, laundress, housekeeper, entertainer,etc.

Praying you find a solution that fits everybody.

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MEMKEEPR 1/20/2014 4:46PM

    emoticon I'm so sorry for your loss and you have so much to consider right now. The job change seems like a good move and the new environment should help reduce your stress as soon as it becomes more routine. Please take time to take care of yourself too. It's hard to squeeze more into your life but you're worth it! Take a baby step and set one goal (like tracking your food) and then add on more positive steps in time. And yes, housework does burn calories. emoticon emoticon

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MTNMOM5 1/20/2014 4:46PM

    My MIL also had never been on her own after 50+ years of marriage. She had not written a check in all that time! FIL did all the paperwork, $, etc. It has now been over 10 years and she is doing GREAT in her condo. She turns 88 this year, pays all her own bills, drives (daylight only) and still swims twice a day! Don't underestimate your MIL she just might surprise you and her son. Good luck!

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