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    SUNSHINE65   56,691
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A few jokes...

Monday, January 20, 2014

Stricter with the screening process

A young man dies and goes to Heaven, where he finds he is third in line at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter is taking a much-needed break, so an angel is admitting the newly arrived to Heaven.
The angel tells the three new arrivals that because so many drug dealers and other criminals have managed to sneak into Heaven that St. Peter must now be a little stricter with the screening process. Each person is required to state his former occupation and tell his or her yearly salary.
The first man in line says, “I was an actor, and I earned $1 million last year.”
The angel says, “Okay, you may enter.”
He turns to the woman in line and asks her about her life.
She states, “I earned $150,000 as an attorney.” The angel thinks for a moment and then lets her in, too.
He turns to the third one in line and asks, “What have you done with your life?”
The man replies, “I earned $8,000 last year . . .”
“Oh,” the angel interrupts. “What did you teach?”

A real estate salesman and his boss

A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water.
“That customer's going to come back here pretty mad,” he said to his boss. “Should I give him his money back?”
“Money back?” roared the boss. “What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat.”

Feeding babies

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered... what about people who eat with chopsticks -- what do they use? Toothpicks?

Army officer training school

In this particular branch of the Army's officer training school, the instructor was returning a test. The students identified their work by the last four digits of their Social Security number.
In the early hours of a morning, the instructor was calling the numbers. “Four-seven-seven-zero?” he asked.
“Here,” replied one half-awake lieutenant-to-be. Taking the paper, though, he realized he had mistakenly asked for the wrong paper.
“Seven-zero-seven-five?” asked the instructor.
“Here,” repeated the student, gearing for trouble.
“I thought you were four-seven-seven-zero, soldier,” spoke the teacher.
“That's right, sir,” answered our hero. “I have a nick-number.”

Sorry they weren't funnier LOL
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYAKAYAH 1/21/2014 8:22AM

    Yes they were funny, all of them! This time of the morning I need funny times to get through the rest of the day before bed!

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ATLTRAINR 1/21/2014 5:30AM

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PB4WEGO 1/20/2014 8:27PM

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HELEN_BRU 1/20/2014 3:49PM

    They were good enough for me! LOL

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CHERIJ16 1/20/2014 10:54AM

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PDSLIM 1/20/2014 9:47AM

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SHERYLP461 1/20/2014 8:11AM

    Thank you still giggling

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YMWONG22 1/20/2014 3:08AM

  Good laugh!
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SUSANBEAMON 1/20/2014 2:16AM

  funny enough.

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DOVESEYES 1/20/2014 12:57AM

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