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    BOOKAPHILE   66,845
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People Pleasing


Sunday, January 19, 2014

The fatloser.com day 14 video concerns being addicted to the approval of others.

Siebold reiterated that most people are emotion driven. Those who have an emotional investment in some subject or belief usually see opposing views as personal attacks. They will often attack in retaliation, usually verbally, to defend their views.

The emotionally mature person should be able to listen to a different view and give it some consideration before deciding whether to adopt it or reject it for themselves. If they don't adopt the view, they still don't attack. They don't have to agree. It's not possible to agree with everyone.

Getting people's approval is nice, but not if the price is sacrificing your principles. It seriously limits you if you HAVE to have the approval of others.

Siebold's puts forth the thought that emotionally invested subjects are avoided because they matter so much. We're so afraid to offend or be offended by disagreement that we don't discuss much of anything that really matters.

I want to live the same way (with motivation, discipline and focus) whether others approve of me or not. I want to be willing to hear and evaluate other opinions without feeling I must react a certain way to win the approval of the speaker. I want to be able to talk about things that really matter, but not require a certain response to continue to like the person to whom I speak. I don't want to be a people-pleaser or the person people must please.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MJREIMERS 1/19/2014 8:30PM

    emoticon I think that one should be able to be able to speak their thoughts and beliefs without worrying about what others think/say. I know it's easier said then done. I used to be very outspoken and then, once I had kids, I thought I should be a bit more "subdued." I'm now back to being ME and figure I was made to express my opinion.

However, I don't do it rudely and I truly believe that everyone has their own opinion and that's just how it should be.

Good for you for being true to yourself! True friends wouldn't want it any other way!

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LJCANNON 1/19/2014 7:02PM

    emoticon I think maturity helps most of us learn that it isn't possible to agree with everyone, and hopefully we can also learn to "Disagree Agreeably" as my Mother always told us to do.
emoticon My SISTER AND HER Best Friend for over 20 years are a Perfect Example of this. They have Totally Opposite, Firm Views about certain very emotional subjects (abortion & capital punishment to name a few) but they decided Long Ago to "Agree to Disagree" and they have one of the Best Friendships that I have EVER witnessed!!

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JANTHEBLONDE 1/19/2014 7:01PM

    Congratulations on day 14! Way to go girl! I'm so proud of you!
emoticon

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PHOENIX1949 1/19/2014 6:51PM

    An old phrase that I often use when sharing different points of view is 'to each his own' in a hopefully neutral tone of voice and with a pleasant expression.

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WATERMELLEN 1/19/2014 5:29PM

    Part of weight loss/maintenance has required me to give up on the approval of some people . . . most of the time it feels worth it, however!!

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