Sunday, January 19, 2014
Since my fiance and I have moved back home, we have been hanging out with my brothers a lot more. They have a lot of interesting ideas for things to do that Adam and i normally wouldn't have done on our own, and since we are saving a ton of money, we do have some extra money to do those fun things on our days off.
Last Thursday and the Thursday before, we went to Sky High, which is a basically a warehouse of trampolines! That was a lot of fun. I didn't realize how many muscles you use jumping on a trampoline! I was quite sore after that. I'll definitely go back again, but probably not for about a month or so.
Yesterday, we went to see some drag racing, where amateurs take their own cars, and just race around this crazy track. After a while, the smell of burning rubber got to me to the point where I was nauseous, but it was really cool to see. Afterwards, we ended up going to the Grotto in Portland. We had gone there as children, with my parents, but Adam had never been. He said that he found it very peaceful and beautiful. It was definitely a nice walk. Even though I don't hold the same religious views, I still could definitely appreciate the beauty of it.
Later that night, my youngest brother and i went for a jog. As a kid, I never though that would happen. He's not overweight, but he often talks about how he's like to eat better, and how much doing so made him feel better. He had a health scare, but it turned out that he just has really bad anxiety-as do I. We got a chance to just talk, and that's always helpful. Because I grew up mainly with my sisters because we were so close in age, I didn't really get to know my brothers that well because they were still in high school when I moved out. Now that we're older, and we're all in college, we have more to relate to, and I have another perspective to look at my situation from-which I definitely appreciate.
Personality wise, it's almost completely opposite. I tend to be very pessimistic, and he looks at everything from an "anything is possible" attitude, and I have to say it's very uplifting. I guess I never really thought about why I'm so negative. He pointed out that everything-literaly, EVERYTHING is about mindset, and I gotta say, he's right. We both suffer from anxiety, but he's over there knowing that things will get better, and I'm over here sometimes thinking that I'll never even make it out the gate.
I guess I had been so sucked into the negativity and depression for so long that I forgot that even though I do have depression, there are still things I can do to better my situation. I will never be "cured", and there will be both good and bad days, but I guess the point was if I could do something about it, why not do that? If the foods I eat are contributing negatively to my mood, why keep eating them? We talked about how certain foods are SO addicting, and they're terrible for you, and those who suffer from depression tend to not even be motivated to get outside in the first place to get those "happy endorphins" so the cycle continues. Even though I suffer from something that is out of my control, I can take preventative steps to ensure that I'm not exacerbating it. I can choose to put foods into my mouth that will uplift me.
Another fun thing that Adam and I did was go to his parents' house and watch football on TV. His parents are big broncos fans, and now that it looks good for them this season, we've been just spending time with them and watching the game. Even though I was forced to go to every single foot ball game in high school because i was part of the marching band, I never really understood it that much. I just always saw it as a chance to hang out with my other friends who were in band. I will say though that once I start watching it, it's easy to get sucked in, and I actually really enjoyed it last weekend.
I guess as far as an update is concerned, I've "backslid" weight wise, but I think my attitude is much better. It's been quite the dry month, which I'm actually happy about. Though it's freezing cold, I can bundle up enough to get out there and jog. I am going to get out there in about an hour or so.