Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.

    KANOE10   69,824
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints

Watching Old Family Videos Without Feeling Like Crying: NSV

Sunday, January 19, 2014

I have spent a lifetime of being overweight with periods of being thin. I would carefully weed pictures of me out of the family celebrations as much as possible. Frankly I disliked looking at myself being overweight and I was embarrassed and sad to look at them.

Now I have reached my goal and have maintained it for over two years.

My husband decided to compile all of the old family videos of our kids into an epic DVD. He proudly showed me his results. While I loved seeing my children as babies, toddles, children,
I zoomed in on shots of me. With astounding accuracy I recognized the dark clothes bought to hide weight gain, the skirts worn in the summer as I could not wear shorts comfortably. I watched the weight gain from the birth of my twins to through the birth of my daughter and third son. I had four children under the age of 5.

Here is my NSV. I looked at myself and did not feel the urge to cry like I have in the past. In fact I thought, " That is who I was then. I am not that person now." I felt strong and resolved.

So I was able to comfortably and positively watch my old overweight self. I did notice that despite my weight problem, I was very happy raising my children and loved being around them.

I am not going to have my husband edit out my most overweight shots. I accept this part of my life. I celebrate my present life of being at goal weight and maybe I will get my husband to make a current DVD to update the new me!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CHARTHESTAR 3/17/2014 9:55PM

    wonderful. I got tears in my eyes. I totally understand. I gained half of what I lost back and i have it. Looking at yourself fat when you are fat is hard.

Being proud of where you are- one of the best NSV!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BEESPARKLE 3/4/2014 10:07AM

    I was fit when my children were born and small and teenagers . Then as I hit into my menopause that was when I became the blimp. I was looking the other day of pictures when I was on the back of my oldest Granddaughters water machine. I was on the back and she was ready to drive over the waves with me. A joy ride as she knows I love water and fast boats and would love the water ski do. Oh my what a butt I had looking at the picture. I thought how could I have had my hubby take that picture before we set out. One thing I was sure enough padded for those waves. oh did I look like that in-front of my teenage kids i thought looking at the pictures. Oh my.

Well I am 72 now. I have thinned down allot. Even more since the profile picture I have up. I have loss that butt ya! Oh I never want to look like that again . How unattractive it looked. My opinion.

My daughter tells me. Oh Mom you were a trooper to even get into the bathing suit and get on
the water-ski do. Plus swim at the beach with us.

Never the less.

She can say that. She was not me. Yet I was truly a happy Grandmother then and still am. Grinning always from ear to ear. I will smile all the more if I can get to my goal and keep it as long as you are doing.

I cannot look at those pictures again of me. Maybe I will when I get to my goal.

Thank you for your blog. Your honesty is the best policy.

Comment edited on: 3/4/2014 10:13:03 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANNIEONLI 2/23/2014 11:18AM

    I Spark-liked this blog....because I think it is something that al lot of us go through, or will go through. Making peace is a good thing. A very good thing. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BESSHAILE 2/2/2014 7:56AM

    Oh wow. I LOVE this blog. And I am so delighted to think that you see your joy and generosity first - and then your hips - in those old videos.

What a strong woman you are.

Report Inappropriate Comment
RR1_RR1 1/24/2014 5:02PM

    Today help me let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past. I can accept with gratitude, all that has brought me to today. -Melody Beattie

Report Inappropriate Comment
CUTENHEALTHY 1/23/2014 11:48PM

  I like that you found self acceptance in your old photographs. Raising four children is something to be very proud of and those family photographs should bring you joy! Thinness alone doesn't bring happiness. It sounds like your inner and outer joy have become one. So happy to hear about your great progress and continued growth!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TINAJANE76 1/22/2014 11:06PM

    This is just amazing and I'm starting to understand this feeling too. I'm no longer embarrassed by old pictures of myself when I was overweight or obese. That was part of my past and is not who I am now. And like you, in spite of the challenges posed by being so overweight, I was generally still pretty happy.

Love this NSV!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GEORGE815 1/21/2014 9:09PM

    Good to look back!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SNOWYOGA 1/21/2014 8:35PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LYNNWANNABE 1/21/2014 6:17PM

    Very inspiring post/blog! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSANNAH31 1/21/2014 5:47PM

    This was a great blog to read.
The new, slimmer you - accepting and appreciating the larger you.
You have lost more than the weight; you've also lost all those negative feelings you could easily have felt - but didn't.
This sounds like a healthy self-love.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 1/21/2014 9:33AM

    Wonderful trends...! Accepting ourselves, warts & all...I no longer beat myself up over waiting all these years to pick up the reins of my life. Rather, I look back on what I've gone through as necessary steps which have prepared me for where I am now.


ps...thx for your blog support!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELGRRL 1/20/2014 4:21PM

    I am really proud of you! This is an EPIC NSV! I really, really mean it.

My husband told me a few years ago that if I died first he would have no pictures of me -- it would be like I never existed.

That made me so sad and I stopped giving him such a hard time about taking pictures of me and I stopped getting rid of them.

Thank you for sharing this story.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MILLEDGE2 1/20/2014 7:41AM

    Good for you! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NUOVAELLE 1/20/2014 1:54AM

    Raising four kids is no easy job and I'm sure all of us mothers agree on how easy it is to actually let the pounds pile up through motherhood. But you were there, enjoying the process of creating healthy and happy young adults. So, you can be proud of yourself for many reasons while watching this DVD. Making a better and healthier version of yourself is definitely one of them!
Beautiful blog!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GINA180847 1/19/2014 11:41PM

    I am so happy for you that you can accept the flawed you as just part of the process. After all would you appreciate being in good shape if you hadn't been so out of shape at one time? 4 children under the age of 5 .......Yikes!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIANNEMT 1/19/2014 9:31PM

    So proud of you!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
OHMEMEME 1/19/2014 8:13PM

    Awesome NSV! Your victory is heartwarming. Sounds like a big aha moment of forgiveness and acceptance. Bask in His glory and grace. So happy for you! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MADEIT3 1/19/2014 8:01PM

    You have reached that point of acceptance as a result of your efforts and your success. You can be proud of that while holding on to the realization that your weight did not define the wonderful person you are.

You are such an inspiration to me. Thank you!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TERI-RIFIC 1/19/2014 7:54PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
MJREIMERS 1/19/2014 7:05PM

    Good for you! As you said that was you then. Now you are healthier and able to continue doing things you want to do.

You've made a major milestone, emotionally. You should be so proud of yourself for being able to see what a great person you were then and now. Yes, you were overweight, but you took care of your family and enjoyed time with them. I know they enjoyed the time with you, as well.

You've come a long way baby! Now get in front of the camera and start taking new video of the new you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ONEKIDSMOM 1/19/2014 6:49PM

    This is a wonderful NSV, seriously. Coming to accept that this was all part of getting to where we are today? Priceless! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BOOKAPHILE 1/19/2014 5:59PM

    I'm glad you left your bigger photos in. It will make your successful weight loss obvious. Congratulations on the NSV of being able to accept that you were a different person then vs. now. " Yay" that you do not feel depressed now because of your size then.

I have very few photos of my heavier weights to compare to now. At the time I didn't want the record, so I took the photos. Now I wish I could see the full contrast. I'm proud of how far I've come, and you've come even farther!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    I think a new DVD with your children now would be great!! It's a fantastic idea.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NICKYCRANE 1/19/2014 3:33PM

    well done, both accepting your weight then, getting it down now, and coping with 4 kids within 5 years of each other!
Friends of mine had 3 kids under 5, intentionally, as they married late. An old lady took the husband, a vicar, to one side and suggested he should practise self-control!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
THOMS1 1/19/2014 2:56PM

    I used to cringe as well but, I'm way over that now. I guess we just have to remember the occasions that the pictures were taken and enjoy the memories. Have a great week. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOVEITMARY 1/19/2014 2:18PM

    Not only are you happy with who you are now, you can fogive yourself and be happy with who you have always been. That is really amazing. Good for you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LJCANNON 1/19/2014 2:12PM

    emoticon What a Great Step you have taken!! Accepting your Old Self and Celebrating the Strength and Happiness in her shows how much you have Gained along the path to the New, Healthy You!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHOENIX1949 1/19/2014 1:52PM


At one point between my thin and fat phases, I made the conscious decision to remain fat because I read yo-yoing was not healthy. What a defeatist attitude. An example of non-critical thinking.

After reading your blog, I thought about going back through albums and ask the fat images what it was that triggered the emotional eating at that time. Then again, that may be a waste of time as Siebold has said to let it go. Perhaps the knowledge that I'm an emotional eater is enough.

Thank you for sharing this.

Report Inappropriate Comment
REGILIEH 1/19/2014 12:49PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Wonderful! We are so much more than a number on the scale or the actual size of our body. Good for you for celebrating and accepting every stage of your journey- that is awesome. Your family must be so proud of you. I know I am! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SMILINGEYES2 1/19/2014 12:00PM

    Love hearing your journey and how you have adjusted. Thank you for sharing b

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARILYNROBERT 1/19/2014 11:45AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MANDELOVICH 1/19/2014 11:10AM

    Beautiful! Bravo!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSUSUZZZIE 1/19/2014 11:10AM

    Thank you for sharing your awesome NSV! It is great that having reached your goal, having two years of maintenance behind you and knowing your plan to stay at goal forever gives you a new perspective on what could have been difficult in the past. And it is very special that you realized the positive - you saw the happy and loving you rather than letting your size cloud that realization.

Good for you! Congratulations!

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 1/19/2014 10:42AM

    Very well done!! An awesome non scale victory!! Realizing you were a loving, happy Mom is the greatest thing! The weight is what it is, it doesn't define us. I think an update would be a wonderful thing -surrounded by your loving family as they are today!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUGARSMOM2 1/19/2014 9:54AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WORKNPROGRESS49 1/19/2014 9:46AM

    Congrats on your major accomplishment!!! Accepting ones-self (fat or thin) IS a major accomplishment.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/19/2014 9:47:28 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
COCK-ROBIN 1/19/2014 9:42AM

    You've come a long way, and I'm proud of you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KELLIEBEAN 1/19/2014 9:30AM

    What a wonderful moment for you. Congratulations on your accomplishments!


Report Inappropriate Comment
HDHAWK 1/19/2014 9:15AM

    It's a positive reminder of how far you've come!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BROOKLYN_BORN 1/19/2014 9:04AM

    Wonderful blog and great attitude!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WATERMELLEN 1/19/2014 9:00AM

    Four kids under 5, including twins? And you were a loving and engaged mother?

You can forgive yourself for the weight then, AND you can celebrate the fit and healthy woman to whom you've now given rebirth.

What a moving and powerful blog. So many of us were heavy when the pressures of motherhood were most overwhelming . . . we did our best.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LORILEEPAGE 1/19/2014 8:53AM

    Accepting your body in those earlier clips freed your eyes to see the happy mom you have always been. It's hard to appreciate those cool things when we are just zooming in on our size in photos or clips. Nice NSV!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOANNA2 1/19/2014 8:52AM

    You have acceptance of self and that is truly
a freeing accomplishment. Enjoy the old you while
knowing you are much happier as you are now. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAUREENREDUX 1/19/2014 8:47AM

    Accepting yourself, warts and all, is a remarkable accomplishment. Congratulations! I hope ( no-intend) to join you in the future. Along the way, I'll continue to work toward my goal-and rely on successes such as yours for inspiration.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TIME-4-TINA 1/19/2014 8:47AM

    You should feel strong, maintaining as long as you have. I hope that will be me one day. I look at old photos of myself, and I think, "is that really me?" It's like a different person.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOVELESMILLS 1/19/2014 8:42AM


Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

Log in to post a comment.