Saturday, January 18, 2014
I've been dating the past couple of months and I feel like it's been healthy even though it's another diversion.
Someone told me, when I first started, that the best thing about dating is that you really learn about yourself. I found it to be prophetic. I still describe myself the way I was when most successful on Spark, even though I haven't kept up those habits in 2013.
My Spark still burns inside, waiting for me to provide more oxygen and grow brighter. Dating has helped me realize/face how much I miss many aspects of my life that bring me a feeling of accomplishment. I haven't dated that many men, but I've virtually met a lot of people, and dated enough to have the confidence that comes from acknowledgement of my attractiveness (okay, that sounds kind of clinical, but it's the most accurate).
I wanted this NOw- not another 100 pounds smaller, when the entire world is unfamiliar. Even though I'm already 100 pounds smaller from my largest, this is my body's comfort zone. After I re-lose the 30 pounds to my smallest adult weight (245), I'll be in uncharted territory. Now I'll have some dating experience to compare, and the knowledge that it isn't just my smaller body that is appealing.
I think I'm ready.
-I'm ready to value myself more completely.
-I'm ready to dive into complete devotion... to my healthy habits, to taking care of my body and my life.
Am I ready to fall in love again? -Definitely with myself. But I feel like there's some work left to make sure that I have an overabundance, to be overfilled enough to not rob from me when I love him.
In the meantime, I still want to meet people.