Saturday, January 18, 2014
Well today I really did not want to get out of bed. I made myself. I did some crunches for 10 minutes while I was in bed and that got me motivated. I really appreciate the support and the advice. I love the amount of friends I have on here. So today I went out because I lost 8 pounds, I decided I deserved a new haircut so I got one. It really makes my face look fat, so that's even giving me more of an incentive to make this lifestyle change.
I also allowed myself to have the first Coca-Cola that I have had in two weeks. I made sure that the calories in the bottle did not make me go over the amount I'm permitted. I do feel full which is a good thing. I am eating popcorn without butter and salt added. I am getting used to eating popcorn this way. I am really trying hard to drink at least eight glasses of water per day. So I keep a full glass with me at night because my mouth gets so dry.
I really feel good about myself today I feel proud to have rejoined this community. I really think that 2014 is going to be my year. I feel that this year I'm actually going to learn who I am.
I know that I will be in counseling for panic attacks and anxiety and depression for the rest of my life but today I feel like I'm floating on cloud nine. I realize I turn 50 in two days but the joy in my heart right now is overflowing. Knowing that my father and grandparents, uncles and aunts, are all watching all of us here on earth from heaven above. I miss them every day the ones I was permitted to meet and love and the ones I never really got to meet but loved as well. I love my ancestors even know many of them I never got to meet in person but learnt about them on paper and pictures. I know my mom is having difficulty with the Alzheimer's disease she has. I know everyone in heaven is helping her and especially those here on earth.
I finished doing some exercises tonight for 20 minutes and I feel so energized. I guess bringing God back into my life and worshiping Him in an actual church and feeling the camaraderie makes me feel blessed. I know I have my sins to bear and I have asked God for forgiveness. I try to pray every night even though I do miss a night or two. But I know He is with all of us.
Without God's help, my supporters on Spark people, my friends, and my family I know I would not be able to even begin this transformation. But I know now that I can do this and everyone else on the site can do this as well. Making this transformation or lifestyle change is one of the best things I have ever started. I know this time it will be different because I am looking at it much more positively and I know I have more people behind me supporting me and routing me onwards.