Not too long ago, a friend called me before she was to leave for her weight watcher meeting. She was thinking of wearing her shoes for her weigh ins. My immediate response was, "Why? Are you trying to mask your gain?"
She become VERY defensive towards me. She wanted to know why would I ask her that?
Because all week long she kept telling me that she had to get her eating under control. Her snacking was nonstop and she was making unwise choices.
That is why.....
Our conversation was then cut short.
This am a customer came in. We have known him for YEARS...before he was married...... then married.....and now has three kids. He has gained so much weight that it is clearly noticeable. He looks like a weeable...you know the tiny toy? I love him to death and I personally don't care....but today.....he mentioned that he had to get new clothes and they were bigger because of his height. He informed me that his torso is longer than his legs.
I kept a straight face.
We chatted a few and he went on his way smiling.
I was lost in thought for HOURS. I thought of my friend who is now mad at me ....and our customer.
Not that I am pointing fingers at anyone for the one I happen to point...I have more pointing back at me.
They are both clearly in denial and they play games in their minds to convince themselves to feel better about themselves. It is almost like saving face.
Me.....I am a PRO at playing games and because of that...I can see thru other's games. I do.
My friend is always posting on facebook how wonderful power foods are and that tracking is the key. Then she texts me with her daily struggles.
When I post stuff like that on facebook...I am serious. I am REALLY doing the things I say I am. When I am SILENT...that means...I am NOT doing what I should. My friend Kim figured that out about me and confronted me on that fact. I asked her how she knew? She knew because she is the same way. She recognized the GAME she herself played.
So...I was caught.
It is so amazing how many stages one goes though in obtaining a healthy life style. So many steps.
When I first joined weight watchers...it wasn't to lose weight, but not to gain anymore. When I THOUGHT I was ready....I had to learn. I understood the program...but I didn't understand me. You have to MORE than WANT weight loss...you have to ACCEPT it and CHANGE....ADAPT.
I am constantly learning...growing. Sometimes I think I am a total failure myself, but then something happens and I realize just how far I have come.
CASE IN POINT.....
At this week's meeting a member expressed that her downfall was pizza. She cannot stop. In her family, they cannot agree on what they like on their pizza, so they order a pizza for everyone with their choices. HENCE...more pizza is left over....more pizza for her.
I raised my hand.......I had a suggestion.......
I told her that we order ONE pizza and have them make half my way ...and the other half my husband's way. It was a good solution....and the member thought about it...and could see that option.
ME.....I realized......that I wanted to lose weight/eat better but didn't want to let pizza go...so I came up with a solution...that I NEVER REALIZED was pretty smart! At the meeting...I realized......I am doing better than I thought....that I am too hard on myself. I have come a long ways.
I truly believe that another problem that lies within us....is TIME. We want results NOW. Some are in a better place mentality and get there faster than others. (like me).
Yet..I have never given up. When I think I have learned it all......know it all......I am struck with the cold reality, I have more to learn and more to change...adapt.
I am back at sharing my food with my friends as well as my fitness goals for the day.
I smile silently to myself once again....
One friend on face book...does WATER WEDNESDAY. Every time she posts the word...FLUSH...we are to drink 8 ounces and hit like. Now during the day....even though it is not Wednesday....instead of a sip....I take a BIG drink and think....FLUSH!
AND to me..that is a FUN game...a game that actually BENEFITS me POSITIVELY.
My games .......are slowly ceasing and in their place...are ways I have adapted....or accepted.......
and...still....I am haunted in the REVELATION......
I still have MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEP.
BUT..instead of being totally afraid ........
I FLUSH as I start to walk that never ending road.