Did I expect too much?
Monday, May 14, 2007
I wondered this morning if I expected too much from SP when I joined? I felt like this was my answer. I could finally do something to make myself look and feel better.
Well, here it is 8 months later, the only thing is different is the way I eat. I have gotten others to join SP because I believe it is truely a miracle, I do my part as a CT member, I even follow my own advice that "it is not about the numbers, it is about being able to say, "I did good" ". And I do good and don' worry about the numbers, I do not even weigh in on a weekly basis just for that reason.
Here lies my problem, as much as I believe in SP and know it does work, how do I make it work for me? I follow rules and eat within the caloric range, with some days higher to move things around. I eat all my fruits, veggies, my fiber and protien. I look for everything high in fiber and buy it. But how do I make it work for me? I have asked for suggestions and tried everyone of them. I cannot afford a personal trainer, I do not have Ins through my job yet, so a doctor visit is out, and watching my husband who is a spark member also loose so fast (yes I know men loose faster then women) even though he eats what I eat.
So my question is did I expect too much from SP? Did I expect to just watch all of my weight come off like it has for others?
I have excercised until I just can't do it anymore (bad shoulder and knee), find anything I can to work up a sweat to burn calories. I just do not know what else to do.
I am not one for giving up. I waited 11 years to marry the one that I loved, so you can guess I can be determined, but I just do not know where or if I have gone wrong, or if my EXPECTATIONS are too high? The let downs are aweful and not rewarding to me at all.
Suffering from non weight loss is just not something I imagined anyone went through. But it does happen. The emptiness that is felt is just not acceptable by me and should not be accepted by anyone, it does not matter if you are trying to loose .5lb or 50lbs, no one should feel this way!
I have support, however, this does not seem to help the weight come off. I am tired of excuses and just need to know what direction I can go, I want a success story! Does that sound selfish? if so i'm fine with that! The only success story I have is being a member of Spark People for 8 months and not giving up! I still believe in SP and what it can do for you, but starting to have doubts of what it can do for me!
What is next for me......do I just accept I will never meet my goal, or be able to bend over and tie my shoes with out leaing sideways? Do I have to always look like I am pregnant when I am not (not that it is a bad thing to be pregnant I have 2 of my own). Do I have to always worry that eveytime I walk while wearing shorts I have to fix the legs.
I want to be comfortable with my weight not just accept what I weigh............