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    LAURENANNE315   5,690
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5,500-6,999 SparkPoints
 
 
Discouraged

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

I have been on spark for a while now, but have been off of here more than on. This year I want that to change. I recently just got married for the second time and was very depressed when I saw my wedding pictures. This is not where I want to be in life! I thought that my weight was bouncing anywhere between 215-225. Which in any case at my height is not horrible, but still obese. I then went to OB yesterday to check on my PCOS and what meds they would like me on. I of course had to get weighed like normal, but when I looked down at the scale it read 248.2 lbs... I was very shocked at this number and became very emotional. How could I let myself get this way? In high school I wasn't in with the skinny's but was not over weight either. I was just a little chunky and felt wonderful about myself. I then married my high school boyfriend when I started to notice my weight take a turn for the worse. As we continued our marriage and things became very difficult between us until we became divorced my weight seemed to skyrocket. I still never thought that I would ever be above 225lbs....

Yesterday my OB said that without losing the weight I am running the risk of making it very hard on myself if I ever want kids... I was already depressed and decided to run over to the local store for a few min to pick up the family something to eat for the evening.. As I walked in the store the manager of the store approached me to let me know that there was baby items 50% off and let me know where they were located at... I didn't say anything but thought in my head.. Well that would be great IF I were pregnant....... but I'M NOT!!! Just larger than most women!!!

Such a discouraging week.soooo.. I started counting my calorie's on here, walking, doing yoga and pilates... Hoping anything will help me at this point!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EILEENV3 1/17/2014 7:13AM

    Sometimes we have to hit a low point to "wake up" and see the reality of where we really are. Even though it is hard, I'm hoping you can turn your feeling of "Discouraged" into a feeling of Determination and Challenged. Above all, give yourself credit for taking the steps to change. emoticon

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LINDA! 1/16/2014 8:21PM

    I know how difficult this is. I had a hard time conceiving due to endometriosis. Although you may not want children yet, you probably will within the next few years. This is a good time in your life to start taking care of yourself. Do this to have more confidence in yourself. You will be surprised how good you will feel when you drop some weight. I also believe that the healthy eating and exercise will bring your mood up greatly. I am saying WOOT for your lifestyle change!

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LAURENANNE315 1/14/2014 8:21PM

    Thank you for the support!!

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LILYBELLE8 1/14/2014 7:15PM

    This is a strange series of events, and probably neither the store manager or the doc realize what an 'off-handed favor they have done for you. A wake-up call, and you seem willing and able to make and keep some personal goals and challenges. I'm cheering for you!

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LAURENANNE315 1/14/2014 11:24AM

    Thank you for the kind words of wisdom :-D I am not worried right now of having a child, but the doctor made it sound as if I never will be able to with my PCOS if I continue to gain the weight and not hurry and lose it :-(

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GRANDMAFRANNY 1/14/2014 10:31AM

    O.K. HERE IT GOES. YOU ARE THE 2ND SPARKER THAT SAID THE SAME THING ABOUT WANTING CHILDREN IN 1 DAY. BUT 1ST YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT "YOU". THINK. I WAS FEATURED IN ARTICLE IN MY HEALTH INSURANCE PLAN. LOST 62 LBS. AND 25 IN. . WHY ? ME FIRST. IT HA S TO BE THAT WAY. HOW WILL YOU HAVE THE CHILDREN IF YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT "YOY". GOD GAVE US A BODY IT IS OUR RESPONSIBILIYT TO TAKE CARE OF IT. THEN CHILDREN. YOU HAVE CHILDFREN THEN GO BACK TO OLD WYS WHAT'S THE SENSE. TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO KNOWS. GOD BLESS YOU NOW emoticon IT, KID.

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