Tuesday, January 14, 2014
I have been on spark for a while now, but have been off of here more than on. This year I want that to change. I recently just got married for the second time and was very depressed when I saw my wedding pictures. This is not where I want to be in life! I thought that my weight was bouncing anywhere between 215-225. Which in any case at my height is not horrible, but still obese. I then went to OB yesterday to check on my PCOS and what meds they would like me on. I of course had to get weighed like normal, but when I looked down at the scale it read 248.2 lbs... I was very shocked at this number and became very emotional. How could I let myself get this way? In high school I wasn't in with the skinny's but was not over weight either. I was just a little chunky and felt wonderful about myself. I then married my high school boyfriend when I started to notice my weight take a turn for the worse. As we continued our marriage and things became very difficult between us until we became divorced my weight seemed to skyrocket. I still never thought that I would ever be above 225lbs....
Yesterday my OB said that without losing the weight I am running the risk of making it very hard on myself if I ever want kids... I was already depressed and decided to run over to the local store for a few min to pick up the family something to eat for the evening.. As I walked in the store the manager of the store approached me to let me know that there was baby items 50% off and let me know where they were located at... I didn't say anything but thought in my head.. Well that would be great IF I were pregnant....... but I'M NOT!!! Just larger than most women!!!
Such a discouraging week.soooo.. I started counting my calorie's on here, walking, doing yoga and pilates... Hoping anything will help me at this point!