Saturday, January 11, 2014
Moderation. Middle of the road. Medium effort. Seems easy enough. Logical approach. Once upon a time it made perfect sense. I understood it and lived it. I preached it. I told everyone who asked it was the answer.
Fast forward a few years and now seems difficult and unfamiliar. I'm not exactly sure how it happened. I'm sure it was a lot of "Oh, I'll do better tomorrow". Enough excuses to put me back in the same place I started. At the bottom of a big hill. A steep, muddy, slippery hill.
The good news here is that the first paragraph is all true. The bad news is the second paragraph is also true. I can choose to be the girl who makes excuses, eats poorly, uses tomorrow as my fallback plan, and thinks the elevator is better that the stairs. I can also choose to be the girl from a few years ago. Everything is a choice.
I know how I felt when I was the girl in paragraph one and I know how I feel now. I know it is harder to do everything when I'm overweight. I know I carry myself with less confidence when I'm overweight. I know there is freedom in weight loss. I know that exercise makes me think clearly and sleep better. I also know I really don't like to exercise. I know that I generally do not like the process of working out. However, I can choose to focus on the fact that I feel graceful and coordinated when I exercise consistently. I can chose to say I don't have enough time in my day to exercise or I can chose to make the time and know that I will be productive.
I'm a little more than one week in. It was a really hard week. I stopped eating processed food and sugar and focused on lean protein, vegetables, fruit and grains. It truly was an hour by hour decision to stay on plan. I did it. I hated it. I'm glad it's over. That's the truth. The first week is really hard. I don't intend to be strict forever, but I needed to get over the hump. I managed to exercise twice. Not great, but better than nothing. My goal is to increase to four times a week. Do I feel graceful because I exercised this week? No. I have to earn that feeling. I'm far from a gazelle, but I know I can be one!