Saturday 1-11-2014 Assortment
Saturday, January 11, 2014
A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer,
"Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
The driver thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license." The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smart butt when he's drunk and stoned." The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
During the Middle Ages, stonemasons would carve grotesquely decorative rain spouts along the ends of the roofs, in the form of animals or faces. What are these things called?
A recent study at Harvard has shown that eating chocolate can actually help you live longer!
About half of all Americans are on a diet on any given day.