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What Got Me Here

Friday, January 10, 2014

What got me here: I feel my weight is something that has gradually just gotten higher as the years came by, due to not managing stress and not taking care of myself. In grade school and high school I was maybe just 30 or 40 so pounds overweight.

It wasn't though until about between 2008 and 2009 though that my weight took on a significant change. In my early/middle 20's I went from 230 pounds all the way to almost 300, in the course of just two years. I believe this was because of a very difficult relationship I was in, one that was physically and emotionally abusive. I just quit taking care of me. The crazy thing is, I don't even recall noticing any of my weight gain until I finally ended up stepping on the scale towards the end of the year one day and was shocked at the number that I saw. I can't believe I literally did not notice until up to that point.

Finally though, I wish I would have gotten wiser a lot sooner, but I still believe things work out in their own perfect timing. I moved out, and moved back to my home town away from this person because I just felt so miserable around them. For awhile I kept in contact with them through the phone, but then I just quit because I could not take it anymore. I switched my phone number. One day they contacted me through face book, but I still felt it would not be right to contact them at all.

What I finally did realize is this: I did NOT deserve this. And that I will never again put up with any kind of physical or emotional abuse in a relationship. I don't need to always be with someone in order to feel happy or complete. I can stand on my own two feet, love myself, unconditionally, and be strong. It is a process, but I don't want to date anyone until I feel ready, and until I truly feel comfortable with who I am. I used to think, well, I would rather be with someone then feel alone, but I no longer feel that way, because I remember this quote:

"It's better to be alone, than to be with someone who makes you feel alone!"

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
DJ4HEALTH 1/12/2014 7:18AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MSLZZY 1/11/2014 2:18PM

    Find your happy place-in the here and now!

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PURPLEBIRD63 1/11/2014 12:53PM

    So sorry to hear of your past...
but so happy to hear that you've moved on and forward and grew from it!
although no one should have to put up with what you did....
you survived
and became who you are! :)
and I'm glad you're my emoticon
emoticon emoticon

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CAKAROO 1/11/2014 9:25AM


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SILVER1369 1/10/2014 10:10PM

    emoticon emoticon and you are doing it.

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LIVINGFREE19 1/10/2014 8:21PM

    You have endured so much!
The quote is so true!

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REENSKI 1/10/2014 4:55PM

    You are a strong & brave woman!

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RAINEMARIE214 1/10/2014 4:47PM

    That quote is so, so very true. My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me last Sunday, and it has been a pretty difficult, emotional time, and I feel very alone. He was not abusive to me or anything like that (though I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship before), but we were not happy for the past few months and he had pretty much quit trying to make our relationship work. What I've realized over the last 2 weeks is that the loneliness I am feeling right now is essentially the same loneliness I was feeling towards the end of our relationship. And you are right - it is better to be alone than be with someone who makes us feel alone. Time to take care of me instead.

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CHERYL_ANNE 1/10/2014 4:38PM

    Sometimes it takes what it takes to learn the lesson and you sure sound like you got the message.

You are all the positive things you tell yourself because now you feel it inside instead of searching for it outside of yourself.


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  I'm so glad you got yourself out of that situation. That was really the first step to taking care of yourself. I know you can do this. :)

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-BLESSINGS- 1/10/2014 3:27PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

that is one of my fav quotes....

Wishing you all the best

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SGTSUNNY 1/10/2014 2:56PM

    You Rock! A valuable lesson was learned and you will never be in that situation again. emoticon

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GLAMNGLOWDIVA 1/10/2014 1:55PM

    Congrats on making the changes you needed to do in order to take care of yourself. I love the quote at the end, its so true.

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ILOVEMALI 1/10/2014 1:21PM

    Good to meet the challenge head-on!

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EVER-HOPEFUL 1/10/2014 1:10PM

    emoticon emoticon

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STARLITNIGHT 1/10/2014 1:07PM

    You are very brave, and you are taking a stand for a very important person. You!

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TRIPLE_EMME 1/10/2014 12:51PM

    Congrats to you for having the courage and strength to leave a bad situation. That was you loving yourself. Keep putting in the time and effort on you -- your self care and health.

You can do this!

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