Thursday, January 09, 2014
I hadn't realized how long it had been since I had been on here. I kept thinking "It's only been a little while." and "I'm doing okay with my eating."
But guess what! Nope, no I haven't been. Of course you don't when you don't journal. You always think you're doing okay but then you forget about that string cheese you had at work, and that juice, and those tortilla chips and salsa, and that handful of gummy bears.......
My weight has been up and even down a little, but fairly consistent until the holidays. But slowly, slowly, it's been creeping back. It's time to start doing something healthy for myself again. Some medical issues have been giving me a hard time. They always will, but the weight makes them all that more painful and prevalent. Exercising hurts like hell and kicks my ass, but I know I feel better when I do it.
This is not a new years resolution, nor something I'm making myself do, nor something that anyone else is expecting me to do. This is something that I want to do and need to do for myself. Something's gotta change cause where I am at right now is just not cutting it anymore. I'm tired, and sick, tired of being sick and just tired of things in general. I need to make this first step towards change cause no one else is going to do it for me. I've made this first step before and I will probably be making it again in the future, but for now, this is good enough for me.
Not necessarily satisfying yet, but it will be.
It will be.