Thursday, January 09, 2014
Big Note, Tonight I am doing The Writing Diet last because the second subject deals with Trauma and I don't want to trigger anyone so skip the Trauma section if you need to do so. I almost decided to skip it but I figured very general info wasn't a bad thing. Don't worry I've dealt with and continue to deal with my childhood and my past and the past and present responses I devised to deal with my box of pain!
I figured I'd get in my blog a little early tonight in case I get tired out later. I had 6.5 hours of sleep because I went with my Mom to the fabric store and then we went to get a few groceries at Target. We paid cash lol, ya! Anyhow, I found a new water bottle there for when I am walking or exercising, some Luna protein bars which I keep on hand for those days I have to be out and about so I don't eat bad food & some sugar free powdered tea mix since they were still fire selling it. My vitamins were on sale and I had a coupon for one container so I bought 2 containers so I'm stocked up for a while there. I also got some plain Chex Mix and plain M&M's. I rarely want to have it but when I want something a bit salty, a little sweet and crunchy that is what I like to measure out and have.
At the fabric store I went because it was the last day Mom could use her 2 $20 off coupons from the Quillows and a bunch of fabric was on sale so without the 2 $20 dollar off coupons and her senior discount she would have paid quite a bit more. She escaped for under $100 and without the sale prices she would have paid over $200 so that was a winner! I went just to keep her organised and had the clerks cutting fabric for a few more Quillows. I decided instead of a Quillow I just would like to have a regular fleece blanket. I have the team Broncos fleece and the matching orange colour for the other side of the blanket, mine is going to come last more than likely which is okay by me! Hopefully I'll get it by the Super Bowl and don't hurt me Denver WIN! My cousin, her husband, my brother, Aunt and then me last will get Quillows or a Blanket! (I may have mentioned that part last night, forgive me I'm a bit tired today. However, I did fine with my food.)
After I dropped my Mom off and put away the groceries I went with my Dad to the International Marketplace and I found tofu, soba noodles, vegetable dumplings, some fruity Japanese Candy for my friend who loves the stuff (Its being sent this weekend to Los Angeles) and my Chinese Red Tea. It was the same brand called Tai Chi! I bought it in LA for round $7 on a 200 pack box, not bad. Plus I can steep 2-3 times on one teabag and I can taste the tea. Most American tea is weak and pointless to drink for me and usually only get 1, maybe 2 steeps on a teabag. I bought a 500 count box for $15, so I am happy for a long while. It should last me a year and probably longer. I should do an entry on tea alone one day. I cook with tea as well, fun times!
100 Days of Weight Loss Day 8 "Help Me Please"
Basically we need to train those round us and be clear about what we need from them. we can get the support we need this way instead of having hurt feelings and misunderstandings. A lot of times our loved ones make things worse because we haven't let them know what does and does not help us! Decide what kind of support you need and tell everyone specifically what would help.
(Please, for the love of the baby Jesus, DO NOT bring Reese's Peanut Butter Cups into the house ever again. Otherwise I will consider this an act of aggression and I will have to declare war against the mother ship!) A little crazy humour but we're all a bunch of silly lunatics over here.
Speaking up about the challenges we face will help our family and friends get the picture. Say things like "It would help me if..." Also tell your people what you don't want them to say to you or do. If you enjoy praise or silence then let them know so the negativity can be minimised. Some people feel certain words or phrases are condescending so let others know what to avoid in that vein so you don't hurt others as well.
-Write a list of things others are welcome to say or do in regards to your weight loss efforts. (Compliments, clearing the table after meals, protect you from desserts)
-Create a list of things you don't want people saying or doing also!
-Read both lists to your supporters, including your spouse, family and friends!
EXERCISE~ I met all 4 goals today~
Active Minutes 77/102
I did a 10 minute cardio video as well and a mess of stretching! I'm going to do a 25 minute treadmill and I am done for the day with my exercise! I'm starting to get back into range with burning 1000+ calories a day from active exercise, just a little tinkering here and there and my metabolism should be at a great level even on my rest days. I can't believe how sore I was yesterday, it sucked pretty good lol.
The Writing Diet's topics tonight are "Lingerie" and "Trauma"
In terms of Lingerie, many put their sexuality on hold until they lose weight. Work daily with the affirmation that you are sensual and sexual. We need to learn to be pretty and love ourselves. (If you don't love yourself when you are bigger than it doesn't magically appear when you get to your goal weight I'm thinking.)
When we dress nicely we send a message to the opposite sex that we are loveable, sensual and sexual. Waiting to be thin to be sexual, we cause ourselves a low grade depression. We need to be touched, a physical expression for our affections but we deny ourselves that right!
The exercise for this section invites you to splurge on at least one pretty bra and panties set. If you can't treat yourself then its time to journal and write about the reasons you can't have lovely lingerie! We need to throw off old conditioning and behaviours, we can afford to be a little more wild than we usually are. (Um, I'm kinda wild already, any more wild and well, I 'd better stop there.)
Warning, Stop here if needed!
In regards to Trauma, the author asserts many carry extra weight as a defense mechanism. Our buffer seems to protect us from harm real or imagined. If pounds are the barricade we put between ourselves and trauma, words are the chisel with which we bring them down. Writing about injuries and injustices helps us to make peace with them. Ad we either forgive and let go of our past traumas, we now look forward to a better future.
In terms of myself I came from a violent home when I was growing up until my dad stopped drinking when I was 11! He had the same personality when he came home from alcoholism treatment but he wasn't violent from the drinking anymore. I had anxiety issues and that hindered me for a long time. I learned to shut off my feelings and not talk so much since I didn't feel like being belittled for having feelings that weren't acceptable. I just never dealt with my feelings until they overwhelmed me and I blew a major fuse with the aggressor. It took me until my very late 20's, early 30's when I learned to forgive myself for the reactions I had to my childhood and I even forgave my father but I don't accept nasty or ugly treatment or behaviour anymore from anyone. Sometimes I ignore certain behaviour or walk away rather than have a big to do about nothing that would be helpful to me. I try to be kind and helpful to myself and if others don't like it I can't be bothered to feel guilty or feel shame anymore. I don't try to be hurtful to anyone but I have to put myself first when it comes to that area. I won't fall into negative behaviours and have depression anymore because others can't handle it.
Basically I learned a few ways I had power and felt powerful so I indulged those areas a lot and it led to the ruin of my short marriage even if there were other issues between us. I accept my full responsibility in that mess. I forgave myself and did the work so I stopped hurting others and myself and I was single for a long time before I met my SO. Paolo knows everything and he accepts me as I accept him.
Basically Cameron asserts as we deal with our traumas our feelings move from reactive to active! We are no longer passive victims, we create healthy scenarios for our lives.
The exercise asks us to journal about our trauma with the starting point "If I let myself admit it, I feel traumatized that..." Even if you consider yourself well adjusted don't be surprised if you are able to come up with reasons. If the word Trauma
upsets you replace it with the word bothered! The act of moving your trauma from your subconscious to your conscious is very healing. You'll have access to feelings you had thought were buried or overlooked!
Have a good evening~