Wednesday, January 08, 2014
My husband bought me an iPod for Christmas and I am in love with it! I love listening to podcasts, especially when I am doing things I don't particularly enjoy, like housework and driving. I downloaded lots of podcasts about health and weight-loss stories, and I've been listening to them quite a lot for the past couple of weeks. I have noticed that hearing all the positive messages is encouraging me to have more faith in my ability to change my health and get my body (and mind!) in better shape. I am also more motivated to clean and do all those boring chores that I like to put off. Not only is my house looking better, but I am moving more. Bonus!
In addition to Spark Radio, I have been listening to a great podcast called Half Size Me, which features a lot of interviews with people who have lost weight and kept it off. I like that the host, Heather, does not promote quick fixes, supplements, and diets, but focuses on the mental aspect of losing weight and getting fit.
Ever since I have been here at SP, I have heard people say, "Losing weight is a mental game." That made sense, but I am beginning to understand it in a deeper way. I have never thought of myself as a perfectionist; I am not one of those people who cannot rest if something is not absolutely completed to perfection. I have always felt, about most things, that it's okay to have flaws, to make mistakes, and to completely screw up sometimes. However, when I look back at the past two years I have been here, I can see that I really was expecting myself to be perfect and was comparing myself to others; the result is that I got discouraged, fell back into bad habits, gained weight, and gave up. I knew it was going to be hard. I knew it was pointless to compare my progress to others. I knew that I gained a lot of weight over a long period of time, and that I was not going to lose it all in a matter of months. I knew all of that, but I didn't KNOW it. I didn't believe it.
There has been a part of me that believes that being at a healthy weight is somehow predestined for certain, fortunate individuals. I thought of it as something like a physical trait, like blue eyes, or curly hair, or dark skin. It seemed like being obese was just the way my body was predestined to be. I have felt like I don't have any control over the way I look or feel. I am just beginning to realize that I really can take control of my choices and my life. I don't have to be uncomfortable in my body. I can make choices that help my body and mind, rather than harm them.
This is big stuff.
I just caught myself thinking, "You're not saying anything that people don't already know. Everyone else knows this already; why did it take YOU so long to figure it out?" I almost wrote something negative about how dumb I have been for not realizing all of this before...but I stopped myself. There is no reason to insult myself, or compare myself to others. It doesn't help.
I made some good choices today:
-squeezed in 15 minutes of exercise in between jobs
-drank 10 cups of water (so far)
-I started to go a little crazy with cheese and crackers, but stopped myself when I realized that I was switching into mindless eating mode. (That's when I went into the other room and did a couple of quickie Coach Nicole videos)
I'm ready to keep making more good choices tomorrow!