Monday, January 06, 2014
**********One of the main reasons that I have been overweight for 10 + years is because I am a self sabotager and procrastinator.************
Ouch! It really hurts to say that! The truth is the only person who has been getting in my way of living a healthy and happy life is ME! I have been my biggest enemy, my worst critic and in general someone who I have come to dislike. Ouch, again!
I bought into my negative self talk so that I didn't have to live up to ANYTHING! I have believed all the negative lies like I'm not good enough, not worth enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough.....the list goes on for miles. Sure I have had people put me down just like everyone else has but it was ultimately up to me if I bought into their BS. And so many things factor into that equation anyways; Do they know me? Do they love or care about me? Do they want what's best for me? I have decided if the answer is no then their negativity has no validity. Besides that I criticize myself much more harshly than anyone ever could. True story!
So when I am working out I am now consciously blocking out my negative self talk. Things like "you're never going to make it" "you're too fat to be working out" "you're too tired to finish" are just a few of the million self defeating comments I make to myself. Quite frankly I am an A-hole! If anyone talked to me like I talk to myself I would hate them. So a harder question is why have I allowed this of myself for so long? Unfortunately it all comes down to having not loved or cared enough about myself to tell myself to "SHUT UP". Well guess what? The negative peanut gallery in my head is being shushed out and I hope with commitment and time I learn to talk to myself with love, understanding and determination.
As for my procrastination issues I have made a pact with myself to have my first big workout of the day done before noon. I know giving myself rules and guidelines is the only way I can successfully implement exercise into my daily routine. If I don't then I lollygag around all day knowing I have to EVENTUALLY exercise but not making it a priority and usually not getting to it. For all my fellow procrastinators you know exactly what I'm talking about!
I LOVE MYSELF AND I AM NOT GOING TO LET MYSELF DOWN ANYMORE! I AM RESPONIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS AND THE EFFECT THEY HAVE ON MY QUALITY OF LIFE!