30,000-39,999 SparkPoints 32,430

1.Keep 2.Going

Saturday, January 04, 2014

My sister-in-law posted a quote from Runner's World, to her Facebook page. "I made two New Year's resolutions: 1. Keep 2. Going." That about sums it up, right? Although, to be specific, "keep going" in the right direction. Lately, I have been traveling in the wrong direction. I have been feeding my compulsion and truly struggling with food and fat. Nothing new for me, just more pronounced lately. I had a emoticon moment this morning, while struggling through an icy walk with my emoticon and the new emoticon . I have allowed my struggles to make me much too self-focused, which increases my misery. I haven't felt like I have anything to offer others, particularly on SP, so I have withdrawn which only increases my own sense of difficulty. I have long grappled with finding some sort of balance between helping others and taking care of myself. Helping others can serve as a distraction, an avoidance mechanism for dealing with my own self and my own troubles. Yet, focusing like a laser beam on myself is not the way to go, either. Awareness seems to be the key - not putting myself last on my own list is important. I need to take care of all my needs - sleep, nutritious food, exercise, etc., and some of my wants, like a bit of quiet time, and time to pursue things that interest me, before being helpful to others. I think there is a silver lining to this period of increased struggle. It reminds me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my troubles with weight and food are just symptoms of deeper problems, and that I need help with my problems. Just like other people deserve some help and support from me, I deserve help and support from others. I have tried to go this alone, lately, and I am not gaining any traction. I have also seen more evidence that I cannot blame these troubles on others - namely, my husband. His lack of support is disappointing but he is not the cause of my problems. I get sick of these same lessons, over and over, but apparently I never learn them well enough because I keep having to take the same @#$# tests, over and over. Historically, this has always been a tougher time of year for me, for many reasons. I know I am not alone in this fact. As I get older, the temptation to give up and give in comes up more often. But, that is one temptation I have been resisting. I see many people give up around my age (50's) and I have compassion for them because I truly understand the weariness that leads to the decision to say "&$&@ it".

I don't tend to make New Year's resolutions (I prefer New Year's actions, like getting things organized and cleaning up and getting some additional exercise) but I will adopt the New Year's resolutions my sister-in-law quoted: 1. Keep 2. Going (in the right direction). Weariness is not a reason to give up or give in - it is just a sign to get extra rest and request additional help. Happy 2014 Sparklers - you deserve all the best that life has to offer.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon my friend and as you say, Keep Going...In the RIGHT Direction. I'm with you. emoticon
    1498 days ago
  • DOODIE59
    Big, big energy and love providing hug for you. I hear you. While you work out the issues you have to work out, the best thing is to Keep. Going.
    Hugs and good fortune,
    1499 days ago
  • KATHY024
    As a very wise person does not drown by falling into the drowns by staying there.

    Realizing you need the help and seeking it out puts you on the road to recovery!!
    1499 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1506 days ago
    So many of us are and have been where you are right now. After so many years in SP and maintaining, I've been off track and gaining lately and feeling that I've let down fellow SP that I had been an inspiration to. But I think I'll write 1.Keep 2.Going on some Post-Its in my kitchen and near my exercise videos to remind me I have come too far to give up now! Thanks for the blog!
    1506 days ago
    Boy, did I need to read this today. Thank you so much for posting. I love reading you blogs because you often say what I am thinking. I do not get support from my husband and often get blamed for his failures. It is such a struggle. I cannot deal with my issues much less try to fix his.

    I need to 1. Keep (things positive) and 2. Going (toward that goal want for myself). Thanks for the wonderful reminder to never give up and never give in.
    1506 days ago
  • DAISY443
    I have noticed about you that you are truly supportive of others. If I made New Year's resolutions, and I don't because I believe it sets me up for failure, it would be that I am not worth it, but everyone else is. This is not negative, it just means that I often concentrate too much on me and not enough on others. My Dad died New Years Day and my true resolution is to remember what a wonderful person he was.
    1507 days ago
  • NUMD97
    You nailed it, Carol ("I prefer New Year's actions..."). Resolutions set us up, I think. If we follow the path of action, deciding exactly how to do something rather than to "resolve" to do it, will probably lead us to greater success (or as my mother used to say, "Don't plan. Do." And there is truth in that, as well).

    You've had a rough go of it lately, with the physical stuff impeding your movement forward. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself time to heal, both mentally and physically. You, more than most within these cyber walls, are quite introspective, and you know how to get to that level of success. Momentarily being derailed by happenstance will not have you on the sidelines forever, and I think you know that, too.

    You also know that we need to dig deep and that ultimately we are responsible for our success (and, of course, our failures) and no one else.

    Remember to be good to you. You deserve it.

    1507 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/6/2014 1:11:14 AM
    The 1. Keep, 2. Going reminds me of the time I saw a woman, well over 100 years old, being interviewed by a news reporter. He asked her what was her secret to a long life and she stared at him like he was stupid and said "ya' just keep breathing, no matter what!"

    So, I thought you were being a smart alec when you said you felt you had nothing to offer on SP! Then I realized you may have been serious! There are two people that really got me to run after a lifetime of not running, wanting to run, or even thinking it was a smart thing to do. They are both SP friends, and one of them is you! I have found much inspiration from all my Spark Friends, but a select few are regular sparks of inspiration, encouragement, and motivation, you are one of those! I often feel I am taking from my SP friends and give so little back, although I try, I get so much from all of you. So don't think for a minute you don't make a difference and have nothing to give! I just hope that some of that energy and good mojo bounces back at you!

    I know it can all be discouraging and it is so easy to erase so much hard work with a few days of poor choices! So Keep Going, Keep sparking, and above all, just keep breathing! We are here when you need a push, a pull, a kick in the rear, or Whatever it takes! I am a retired Master Sergeant so I know how to do that mean military "drop and give me 20" stuff if I have to!!!!
    1507 days ago
    I'm going to use these two resolutions too!! emoticon
    1508 days ago
    I hate repeat lessons!!!!! But I too, need to keep going in the right dire tion. When we are e mad and dissapointed in others, why do we punish ourselves with food? I need to remember that today since I'm deeply annoyed with a loved one. The good news is I'm able to move more, walk more and less pain. Woohoo! You know I'm here for you and January we need to create a system and stop retreating. That's so bad for us!!!
    1508 days ago
    I'm right there with you.... I am a member of Weight Watchers and next week I'll be picking up my material for "Simple Start". Basically it is just eating power foods as much as you want when you wnnt them. You also get 7 points a day for extras. I'm really going to give that a try. I need to stay out of the french fries if I want to make any progress getting this 10 pounds off. Happy New Year to you and sending best wishes your way... Hugs, Rhonda

    emoticon emoticon
    1508 days ago
    Two great resolutions Cannie! I'm so sorry you've been feeling so alone in your struggles. You know, we're all struggling along right beside you. The good thing about this place is that when you feel your spark fading, there will always be someone to share theirs.
    emoticon emoticon
    1508 days ago
    Spreading ourselves to 'thin' with helping others does take the focus off of ourselves. Being a widow and without children/grandkids, I can get myself too involved with my friends problems. Finding that healthy balance can be difficult. Good luck with focusing on YOU. You need to be your own cheerleader since you can't count on getting it from your hubby. It's time to be 'healthy selfish'!
    1508 days ago
    Oh dear friend, You are not alone........ever. I so understand that elusive balance. I am either super martyr (fat, bitchy and miserable) or super selfish (fat, bitchy and guilty). I have been tapping into prayer more lately because all of my solutions are dead ends. It turns out right now it's just ODAT. Something interesting I heard but can't totally wrap my head around yet is that we fill up on goodness (love) and then empty ourselves out for others. In doing so, we are primed and ready for more goodness to come flooding in. There is room for it. I like this because it requires that we are full and then can share. My way is to be filled up from me, by me and then hoarded by me so it's not snatched away and I don't like who I become. The other is to give, give, give and I'm in no place to to begin with and then I'm tired and resentful. Both don't leave me feeling like I'm living or loving abundantly and I know there must be a better way. Sooooooo I'm trying to take care of mama but enjoying the imperfect and trying to laugh more. Sounds lame I know but it leaves me less frustrated. I figure if I never lose another pound (God forbid) at least I haven't damaged my relationships too and if I am successful, I won't be resented. When I take those two scenarios away, the journey seems less daunting and more enjoyable. I don't have a big support team here either. Babies and a husband who likes to late night eat with me. It's so much deeper than calories and fitness minutes isn't it??!!! We're in this together okay? So lets 1. Keep 2.Going
    I LOVE seeing you around!!!
    1508 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/5/2014 12:07:28 AM
    So many true words, as usual! But we all have to just keep going in the right direction, don't we, even when we get off track. Sometimes I wonder whether I will ever resolve this issue, but I keep trying!
    1508 days ago
    I completely know how you feel because I have the same thought pattern (and age bracket). But while reading your blog, something occurred to me. You posting blogs or comments, even when they're not "rah rah" type or reporting that you're doing well, is actually very helpful to other Sparklers like me. You see, like you, I love to help others. And so, in posting that you're struggling, you're offering me an opportunity to try to help. To try to focus a little bit on someone else, to feel good from extending a hand to a friend, and on the other side of things, to feel less stupid about my own repetitive destructive behaviors. You offer me a chance to look at my own situation through your frame, and maybe learn something. Yes, even if you're posting the blues, it's still plenty to offer! And I will try to learn from this blog that next time I'm struggling, I shouldn't hide it either.

    I hope 2014 brings you lots of action. The good kind :). My big goal for 2014 is to jettison the drek that seems to bog me down, both stuff in my head as well as stuff in my house! Good action to us both!
    1509 days ago
    Awwww, you definitely deserve support and know that you are such an inspiration to others, so it should come back to YOU!

    I love that FB post. It is spot on. So often our caravan veers off the path or comes to a fork in the road (no pun intended!) That's when we have to let our best self shine thru in the decisions we make. If you take it one step @ a time, one day @ a time (well, I know . . . you know the drill!) you'll stay on the right path.

    So often I feel that same feeling . . . I "get" that feeling of pulling back on involvement as you don't feel like you have much to offer. BUT YOU DO!!!

    ((((HUGS))))) Know that your outstretched hand will be met by another reaching out to help.

    1509 days ago
    You do indeed deserve help and support from others. Such a poignant and heartfelt blog. And there really is lots of support here . . .
    1509 days ago
    I think the holidays are rough for everyone, regardless of which way they are rough (absent family, food temptations, obligations for work/school/children that are holiday related, lack of time to exercise because of those obligations) so its understandable for one to withdraw. It's overwhelming. The important thing is you recognized it and started working your way back. :-) And you know we'll always be here help with whatever it is you need. Happy New Year!
    1509 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    I can sure empathize with what you wrote here. Balance/moderation seems to be the key in almost everything in life. Achieving that is a constant struggle. For 2014 I have resolved to Love Myself - enough to do what is good for me.

    As I paced the floor night before last with chocolate candy calling my name after I had my day's allotment of nutritious food and moderate exercise, I kept repeating, out loud, "I love myself enough to say no to the candy which is not good for me." Yesterday I had the candy, planned for in my tracker. Reviewed tracker and nutritional breakdown at end of day. Not a wise choice. Intellectually I know this but seeing the numbers reinforces that I need to do something about this. I requested that spouse help me with my temptation by always closing the pantry door which I will not open unless it is for meal preparation.

    emoticon 'cuz we are worth it!!
    1509 days ago
    Great blog, loved your honesty and words of wisdom, "Keep. Going." I am going to remember this for myself. Thank you for sharing. I am in my 50's and have never been more motivated to live a healthy lifestyle It is never too late. Keep going, girlfriend, you can do it! We can do it! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1509 days ago
  • SWIM53055
    AMEN! Very well said, and just what I needed to hear today. Thank you!
    1509 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by CANNIE50